The Archetypes
by nic98ole
Summary: There was about 3,000 miles separating Kendall from what he wanted. It was a road trip with a hitchhiker, a broken bird and a charming runaway for Kendall to find someone he needed. Kames/other pairings.
1. Su-barbie-a

_I've been struggling with this story for the longest, it changed plots like five thousand different times and even now as I write this I don't know if it's all the way there. It's like at 99.9%, idk I'm dumb. Anyways, this story is probably going to be very boring but I just sorta want to do a character story, if that makes sense. And IDK if this story will remain T for good because I'm indecisive, but for now, it's T. Blergh de blergh, hope you all enjoy this story anyways cause now I'm not sure what it is to explain it here._

* * *

**Part I: The Idle Teen**

* * *

In the small town of New PalmWood, resting along a coast that welcomed sunlight and harsh storms alike, was the smallest population that could possibly be imagined. At least, that was what Kendall Knight believed. Their town was about sixteen miles long, with old and cracked paved roads that ran through never busy streets, and the air always smelled of the fresh creeks that ran through the golden fields. Every Sunday, right after Mrs. Knight prepared breakfast for her eldest child and three little boys, Kendall would strap his guitar on his back and take a walk. The houses in New PalmWood were very much alike, building structure reminiscent of 1965. It always felt like Kendall was walking through a postcard, waiting to find out just who it was that his story was going to be told.

The sidewalk was hot, the air blowing light as he continued his way down the street. He'd walk all the way down to Summer's End, then turn around and head back to his home if not down to the shoreline and watch those two old men fish off the dock that always grumbled and argued about what bait to use. Kendall breathed in the fresh air, sighing as he stuffed his hands into the pockets of his ripped jeans. A few more steps and Kendall rounded the corner of Summer's End, walking slowly down the street and pass the row of houses.

Something about this place made Kendall's heart tight, slowing his pace slightly to stop in front of a large red wooden house with white trimming and an old wishing well in the front yard. No one has lived in the homes on Summer's End for years, Kendall didn't really know what the reason that was for though. He figured because the homes were so close to the water, it would have been a storm hazard. But the sea air breeze was absolutely beautiful to feel over your skin and breathe in the moment you woke up. He stood there for about a couple of seconds, maybe minutes, as if he was trying to recollect a memory that was long forgotten about something he didn't know. The significance of a house that's been empty for more than ten years, Kendall stood there and puzzled and puzzled until the furrow of his eyebrows grew sore.

Sighing, Kendall turned on his heel and continued his walk down the road, towards the grey waters that washed up onto the sandy shores. The sand moved and sifted over his black Converse, kicking and uprooting some shells and rocks as he moved in closer and closer to the shoreline. Finally, Kendall stopped and sat down on the sand, pulling his guitar into his lap as he took in a breath and let his fingers drift over the nylon strings. Warmth filled Kendall's vein despite the chill of sea breeze, plucking notes and strumming chords as he sung 'Moon River' underneath his breath. Quiet and intimate, like the lullaby his father would sing to him and his little brothers when he was so small and New PalmWood seemed to encase the entire world instead of a small portion of it.

New PalmWood was definitely too small for Kendall now. Too small for his mind to drift off and wonder just what lied beyond the ocean's edge. What was past the golden fields of wheat and dry grass, past the tall forested areas of old oak and pine that were too tall for him to soar over. Out there, past New PalmWood and over the criss-cross creeks was his somewhere, his rainbow's end. He wasn't sure where it was, or how he would get there or who he would find, but he just knew he had to be there.

And he'd get to be there all in due time.

* * *

Mrs. Knight blew a stream of smoke from her lips, slipping the cigarette back in between her ruby red lips as she began to type out over her typewriter. Mrs. Knight wasn't a fan of new technology, without a husband to explain to her how the gizmos and whoo-dads and whatzits worked, what point would there be to fill up her little abode underneath the largest of apple trees with gadgets that belonged to the Jetsons.

She heard a door open and then closed, adusting her cat eye glasses. "Wipe your feet, I don't want you trailing any sand," she called out, Kendall shuffling in a few moments later with his shoes toed off and the bottom of his jeans wet with water. "Went to the beach?"

"Like to think there. More quiet," Kendall said and his mother gave him a look. He shrugged, reaching over to grab a red apple to bite into. "I'll be upstairs," he mumbled through chewed up bites and his mother gave a small grunt at that. Kendall ran his fingers up the cherrywood banister, each step bending underneath his weight and making a creaking noise. A couple more steps upwards, he could hear the orchestra section playing a piece from _Madame Butterfly_ from one of his father's old records. Kendall reached the top of the steps, looking down at his brothers sprawled out onto the floor with their chins propped up by their hands.

Colin, Rudy, and Lionel, all three of them around the ages of six to eight years old. And all of them were in their bathrobes and pajamas, mixtures of honey blond and auburn hair ruffled from sleep that weren't even bothered to be combed. Their eyes glanced up at Kendall walking past them, a mixture of a sickly sea blue green, before focusing attention back on the record. Kendall figured as much as no words exchanged, his little brothers never liked to talk over the orchestra section since their father always said it was rude to not give the fullest of attention to performers.

Kendall felt his heart sink a little the more he thought of him, wishing that he was here now.

He stepped inside his room, taking his guitar off and setting it down by his dresser. He flopped down on his bed, face down on the plaid sheets before he turned over onto his side, reaching out for his journal. He overturned a novel that his father gave him right before he passed away, stating how it was growing to be his favorite. Kendall read up to the part where the southern girl Delilah met Sampson, and Sampson saw something in the rearview mirror but Kendall never knew what, since that was as far as his father read up to and Kendall wouldn't dare remove the leather bookmark that still held his fingerprints and his scent.

Kendall flipped open his journal, looking over his song lyrics that he's been writing for a while. He placed the tip of his pen to the white paper before he stopped, hearing his mother shout out "Kendall!" and he scowled.

"What?!"

"I need you to run down to the market! We're out of eggs and paper!"

"Why couldn't you have told me that _before _I left?!"

"Cause I knew you were going to forget!"

"Well I wouldn't have if you _told _me!"

There was a collective groan from down the hall, Kendall knowing his brothers were getting annoyed and he groaned himself. He tucked his journal into his coat pocket before he slung the fabric over his shoulders, quickly rushing out of his bedroom and past the three boys turning up the miniature record player volume. He hurried down the stairs and into the kitchen, fanning away his mother's cigarette smoke. "I really wish you wouldn't smoke in here, it really stinks up the kitchen," Kendall said and his mother puffed out a smoke ring.

"I know, it's a nasty habit but. . .it's how I relieve stress," she said and Kendall bit the inside of his cheek. She shook her head, adjusting her glasses and pushing a few strands of bright red hair freshly done out of her face as she reached for her purse. "Get two dozen eggs, for breakfast and for that pee wee hockey picnic. I'm in charge of baking so I need to have as many ingredients that I need. And stationary paper for letters and simple white paper for my typewriter, understand?" she asked and Kendall nodded his head. She stuffed a couple of dollars into her hand, Kendall shoving the money into his pocket before he rubbed the back of his neck.

He turned on his heel, grabbing the car keys on the way out before he walked out the front door. He stepped in the driveway, unlocking the front door to the old Chevy Impala and slid into the leather seat. He started the engine with a little rumble, pulling out the driveway and onto the cracked streets before hooking a right and heading to the town square. Everything wasn't too far away from each other, the forests and the town were all intertwined with each other. Kendall was driving past the golden fields of straw and dry grass, spotting a couple of horseback riders heading off into the woodland area. The windows were rolled down, welcoming warm heat and a cool breeze that made Kendall sigh in relief and his grip on the steering wheel loosen.

He drove over the bridge with a slowly drying up creek beneath it, moving onto more paved roads and past the old white church his mother and father got married at. Kendall made a right, and there he was in the town square. On his right was the old red brick malt shop, a few blocks down was the movie theater and supermarket. To his left was the music store Kendall loved to waste time away inside, next to it a bookstore with a built in café and the floral shop that no matter what, always had barely living flowers.

He pulled in front of the market, putting the car into park and turned off the engine. He climbed out, swinging the key around his finger before he slipped it into his pocket. But before he walked inside the market, he paused and did a double take. Next to the market was a jeweler, finest jewelry Kendall had ever seen in his life. Diamonds and pearls and gorgeous gold watches that didn't belong in New PalmWoods, but in a Tiffany's in New York or Beverly Hills, where the somebodies were that could actually afford such a piece. And standing in front of the display looking from the outside was a tall and rather _gorgeous _looking brunet.

Kendall never seen the boy before, surely wasn't in the graduating class from the high school but he looked about the same age. He was wearing sunglasses even though the clouds slightly made it dreary out, his clothes were elegant and fancy and Kendall was sure if he breathed hard enough, he could inhale the sweetest cologne that lingered on the boy's sun-kissed skin. He had a coffee in one hand, one croissant in a white paper bag in one hand while a half-eaten one was in his mouth. It was rather charming, Kendall couldn't help but stare and be entranced by this boy. He didn't look a thing like the citizens in New PalmWoods, he looked new and up to date and _beautiful_.

That was the most important thing, he was _beautiful_.

The boy paused and then turned, Kendall quickly turning away with a blush on his cheeks and embarrassment flowing into his veins at being caught. He gave a nervous cough, not sure if the boy was watching him still but he walked inside the market. Kendall sucked in a breath of stale air and made his walk down the aisle to get the eggs. Only, halfway down the aisle did Kendall feel strange. He gave a casual glance over his shoulder and sure enough, there was the brunet following him with the half eaten croissant still in his mouth. Kendall turned away, confused and a little freaked out. He wasn't going to jump to conclusions, absolutely not. If anything, the boy wanted to buy something too and just happened to go down the same aisle Kendall was going down. He sucked in a breath, yes that had to be the reason. So Kendall walked down and made a right, heart beating a little bit faster when the boy made a right too.

He wasn't going to look back at him, he wasn't going to see him. But Kendall felt himself tensing and growing nervous under the boy's gaze behind those shades he _still _didn't take off. What does he want? Was he stalking him? What did Kendall _do_? Kendall passed the eggs from being too deep in thought and he cursed under his breath, turning around and kept his head lowered. He walked past the boy, who _turned around_ and Kendall gave a huff.

He spun on his heel and blurted out, "I'm sorry for staring!". As if _that _was what the boy wanted. The brunet paused, then pulled the croissant from his mouth and slipped it into the white paper bag.

"Is that what you thought I wanted? An apology?"

"Well you're _following _me so I don't know."

"What if I wanted to know your name?"

Kendall raised an eyebrow. "I'd ask why."

The boy smiled. "Cause I think you're cute and that it was cute how you _were _staring at me."

Kendall blushed and the boy laughed. It was light and like honey, sweet and smooth. Kendall swallowed hard, clearing his throat and tried to show he wasn't at all affected.

"It's Kendall. Kendall Knight," Kendall introduced and the boy took off his shades, revealing big and bright hazel eyes that did all the smiling for him.

"I'm James. James Diamond."

"James Diamond. . .I never heard of you around here before," Kendall said. Which was saying something since everyone knew everyone in this little town. James shrugged.

"I'm not from around here."

"Are you visiting?"

"Maybe. Or maybe I'm just passing through. Or maybe I'm staying here, I haven't really made up my mind," James said and looked over at the eggs. "Are you getting your breakfast?"

"No," Kendall said, remembering the task at hand and grabbed two cartons. "My mom wanted some eggs for breakfast and baking. And paper, she writes a lot and it keeps her busy."

James nodded and it didn't take Kendall by that much surprise when James began to walk with him towards the office supplies. "What about your father?" James asked and Kendall bit his tongue, almost dropping all of the eggs in his hand.

". . .He doesn't do much."

James nodded at that too and Kendall quirked an eyebrow. "If you're not here visiting and you don't know if you're going to stay, how did you get here? I mean, if you were only passing through, you would have just stayed on the highway since it pretty much bypasses this place. You'd have to _want _to get off-"

"Look at these masks!" James chirped, ignoring Kendall's questions as he moved to the animal masks on sale. He put one up to his face, a fox and gave a playful growl. "I always liked dressing up when I was a child, did you?"

Kendall paused, not sure of what to say. "I suppose?"

James pulled the fox mask away and smiled. He then picked up a hound mask, placing it in front of Kendall's face. "This one fits you perfectly," he said and pulled it away. "And it's none of your concern how I got here. What matters is that I'm here, doesn't it?"

"Well. . .if you're passing through, where are you going? If you're staying, where have you been?" Kendall asked.

"I'm undecided if I want to stay, I just told you that. And if you're so curious about where I'm going, I'm going to give you a good punch if you don't be quiet."

Kendall frowned and continued down the aisle, quickly grabbing the stationary paper and the normal blank paper. "Do you like to write too?"

"Maybe I do, maybe I don't," Kendall said, since two could play at that game. James scoffed.

"I can see a journal in your pocket, don't need to get cryptic on something so obvious," James said rather snappily and Kendall gave a furrow of his eyebrows. He turned to look over his shoulder at James, the boy now sipping from his coffee cup and Kendall rolled his eyes.

"None of your business if I write, just like it's none of _my _business about why you're here."

"I'll tell you why I'm here if you tell me what you write about in that journal," James said with a warm smile that made Kendall shiver. He shook his head, holding his things tight to his chest and James shrugged. "Course you don't have to-"

"Let me pay for my things-"

"Why pay?" James asked with a mischievous little glimmer and Kendall's eyes widened. "No one would really notice, would they? There's barely anyone here to stop you."

"I'm not going to _steal _eggs and paper! And since you're not from around here, you should know that my mom is friends with the store owner and I'll get into _so much _trouble for shoplifting!"

"Have you ever shoplifted before?"

"Didn't need to," Kendall said with a frown and James finished off his cup of coffee. He placed it down idly on one of the shelves and pulled the dog mask out from his pocket, holding it up to Kendall's face.

"Such a loyal and responsible boy," James said with a flirty smile and Kendall swatted the mask away.

"I'm not a dog."

"You're adorable like one," James said with a pout that Kendall tried his hardest to ignore. "Come on, it's thrilling when you do it. And it's only eggs and paper, it's not like you're robbing a bank or anything." James stepped closer and there it was, the rich cologne of cinnamon and spice and sex lingering on his skin that floated upwards into Kendall's nose. His eyes fluttered, breath taken away as James cocked his head to the side. "Come on, it'll be fun," he purred, voice silky and lips ever so soft that Kendall wanted to only spend his days lazily kissing James between the bedsheets.

". . .Okay," Kendall murmured and James smiled, licking his lower lip and Kendall did the same. James wrapped an arm around his frame, strong and warm and Kendall shuddered. The brunet walked him down the aisle, Kendall's heart beating too fast for his own good. What if he gets caught? What if his mother finds out. It's only eggs and paper, he should pay for this. He _shouldn't _be doing this, but James rubbed his hand up the side of Kendall's arm, positively trembling underneath his touch.

Kendall's eyes wildly darted up for any security cameras, finding none in the corners or in front of the door. Mr. Milken never really felt the need for security, other than a safe to put the money in. He trusted the citizens and Kendall had to swallow down the guilt and nerves. No one was up front, like James had said, and the boy snagged a bag before he rushed Kendall outside. James opened the bag for Kendall and the blond stuck his stolen goods inside, James grinning brightly. "Good boy!"

"I'm _not _a dog," Kendall said and took his items. "Now I still have twelve dollars that I need to explain to my mother why it's not gone."

"Spend it on a milkshake," James said. "I like mint."

"What?"

"Buy me a milkshake, I didn't stutter."

Kendall frowned, gesturing to James's person. "Don't _you _have any money?"

"Yes, but asking cute humble boys to buy my things is much more enjoyable," James said with a smile and Kendall bit the inside of his cheek. "I like a mint shake with lots of whipped cream and a cherry."

". . .Fine."

* * *

James insisted on them sharing a milkshake and fries in the parlor, Kendall rubbing his face as if he could somehow wipe the blush from his skin. He's already gotten a few confused looks and curious glances from some teens that were enjoying the first day of summer break. Kendall wasn't known to be a romancer or even date people, yet here he was sitting with a stranger drinking out of the same milkshake. James took a sip from his red straw and hummed in delight before he gestured to Kendall's pocket.

"Are you going to show me what you write in there?" James asked and Kendall frowned.

"Not so fast, what about where you came from?" Kendall asked and James gave a groan. He drummed his fingers on the counter before he took another sip.

"It's not a really important place, some little smudge on the map."

Kendall raised an eyebrow and James sighed. "I'm just here on vacation, is that a good enough answer for you?" James asked and Kendall gave a shrug. He tilted his head to the side. "I didn't know I was dealing with the town sheriff. Concerned about the stranger showing his face in your town?"

"It's not like that, just. . .I've been dying to get out of here for the longest and when I saw you-"

"I'm something different?" James asked, bright hazel eyes wide and Kendall nodded. "Is different a good thing to you?"

"It's a wonderful thing."

James smiled. He ate some fries before he pointed at Kendall's pocket. "_Now_ will you show me?" he asked and Kendall sighed, slipping his journal out.

"Just don't laugh. But these are some song lyrics that I wrote," Kendall said, sliding the book over the counter and James beamed.

"Song lyrics? You sing?"

"Not really, I play guitar though."

"I sing," James murmured, flipping through the pages. "I love to sing," he said, and Kendall didn't know if he was saying that to him or to himself. It was quieter, softer, like he was trying to convince himself of something and give a gentle urge that it was alright to say. Kendall leaned on his hand, watching James mouth the words on the paper, voice coming out in only a whispery breath too hard for Kendall to hear. James bit his lower lip, looking up to Kendall before he slid the journal back.

"You're quite a romantic in these lyrics," James said and Kendall gave a small shrug. "Are they for your girlfriend? Or boyfriend, however way you swing."

"I swing both ways and I got out of my last relationship before summer so the songs aren't for anyone."

James raised an eyebrow. "Wanted a new start?"

"Guess you could say that," Kendall murmured, pushing around his straw in the slowly melting shake.

"What was their name?" James asked and Kendall paused.

"Her name was Jo. . .I should be heading home. My mom is going to be wondering what's taking me so long," Kendall said with a shake of his head and grabbed a couple of fries to shove into his mouth. "Do you have a place to stay?"

"Yeah," James said, his turn to now stir his straw in the shake.

"Where?"

"Someplace cozy, stop worrying about me so much," James said with a sharp look and Kendall rubbed the back of his neck. "Just because I'm not from around here doesn't mean I'm helpless, you know."

"I never said you were, but _fine_," Kendall snapped and James turned away. Kendall grabbed his things and gave a small huff. "Welcome to New PalmsWood," he said off-handed, but before he could walk away, a hand grabbed the sleeve of his coat. He turned, eyes wide in shock as James was leaning in and kissed the corner of his mouth, Kendall barely tasting the salt and sweet. He pulled away, warm gaze in his eyes.

"Thanks for the shake," he murmured and in a quick dash, ran out of the parlor. Kendall blinked, before he found himself turning on his heel and running after him. James was half way down the street, intent on not looking back to see if Kendall was following him and Kendall only stared at the boy's retreating figure, confused and intrigued. No doubt, James Diamond was different.

Different was what Kendall wanted for the longest.

* * *

Dinner was always eaten in silence, conversation over the dinner table ended when Mr. Knight passed away. They left his chair out, and set the table as if he was going to walk down the stairs and plop right down to ask for some food to be passed over to him. Kendall often just stared at that empty spot where his father once sat, before he swallowed down his food and hoped that the thought wouldn't come up again.

"So have you decided about school yet?" his mother asked in between chewed bites of green beans and mashed potatoes and Kendall pushed around his food. He shook his head and his mother sighed. "Kendall, this is important. You can't slack off on this anymore, don't you want a future and a good education and a good job?"

"I just want to get out of this town and travel, I don't know what I want to do with my life."

"Well you can't waste it _travelling_," Mrs. Knight said sharply and Kendall frowned. "Also, you should get a job for the summer. I can't raise all four of you on the money that I'm earning. Mr. Bitters is hiring from what I heard in town."

"Yeah, like I want to spend my summer vacation surrounded by almost dead flowers and a sour cheapskate," Kendall said with a sarcastic laugh and now it was his mother's turn to frown. "I don't want to talk about it, I'll figure a way to earn money my way."

"Music isn't a strong support for money, Kendall. There are such things as starving artists," she said and Kendall looked at her with wide and upset eyes.

"Well if smoking is your way of relieving stress and making you happy, then music is mine and I have every right to do it."

"Don't talk to me like that," she whispered, slim and bony hands gripping her silverware tight. Kendall's little brothers were idly eating, nervous eyes darting between Kendall and their mother as they slurped up some pasta. Kendall leaned down, cutting some potatoes up with a frown.

"Not my fault that you wouldn't understand. Dad always understood how we all felt about music anyways," he mumbled and heard his mother drop her utensils onto her plate. Kendall knew that was a low blow, it always was to mention his father only to spite his mother. He looked up at her, seeing the woman staring at him with hurt eyes and swallowing down a curse or a yell or a sob. Kendall pushed his half-eaten plate away. "I'll go to my room," he muttered, quickly excusing himself from the table. His mother didn't stop him, his brothers only watched his retreating back as he ran up the stairs. Kendall went into Colin's room, grabbing the record player and a record of Elvis before he went into his own room and kicked the door shut behind him.

Kendall took the record out, placed it on the player and dropped the needle. He fell onto his bed, looking up at the ceiling as Elvis crooned and sung, as if he was waiting for a message to appear to him. Somewhere to go, his father always said that they needed to look close and listen closer in order to find the things that are hidden before their eyes. He dug into his pocket, pulling out his journal and grabbed his pen off the nightstand. But as soon as he opened the pages, his nostrils were hit with the scent of James' cologne that somehow managed to be caught in the pages. His mind grew hazy with half mint kisses and the thought of lazy afternoons wasted away with the stranger.

Kendall fell asleep with absolute no idea of where his life was going to go after this, but comforted from the scent of James and the sounds of the King.


	2. Living Film, Real Fake

_Here's the next chapter, and I'm glad to see people's interest in it so far. I still can't really explain what this story is about, I'm just writing what is coming to my mind so I'm sorta just as much in the dark as you guys. Anyways, thanks to 0verdramatic, 801-chan, Anim3Fan4Ever, Animated Tokyo, BelieversNeverDie18, CUTE CARGAN LOVE, DayMoon89, I'maBigTimeRusher, KenlosForever, LoveSparkle, Misha Schmidt, Mr. President 64, XxxAnimaniacxxX, amrice101, bluestring, ialmostdo, jpj145, leann15, sega385, smartcookie712, cellyjelly, oneshotofsad, holyhotcakes, ifthesesheetswerestates, 1234irrek and Ozzy And Daniel for the alerts, favs and reviews._

_BTW, this story **is **going to end up Kendall/James. Just that there's a whole lot of hooking up with other characters, heartbreaking, plot scheming and other stuff before there's **actual **Kames so yeah. Enjoy_

* * *

Friday was choir, Kendall sitting at the bench of the dusty piano in the old sanctuary as he watched his three younger brothers push and shove each other in their respective rows amongst all the other little boys and girls. On account that there was only a handful that could play an instrument, and only a pinch of people that were more universal in musical instruments like Kendall's father or the music clerk was, Kendall often spent his time as the piano boy for the church. Or the organ player for weddings, or the one to create arrangements for funerals deep in melancholic sounds and emotional notes.

Course, all of this was free, though Kendall had thought about asking for payment since his mother was nagging him about work.

"Kendall, do start from the top. We must be prepared for my musical," a woman with a pointy nose and her bleached blonde hair up into a messy and tangled bun. Her pink lips were tightly pulled, Kendall nodding slowly as he turned away and shook the image out of his head. Once his fingers touched the ivory keys, Kendall was instantly lost in the music. The piano rang out notes that held time and nostalgia, bright and with a high pitched twang that echoed up into the alcoves. The choir children sang, the music conductor waving her hands with noisy bracelets clanking against each other. Kendall closed his eyes, not even needing to look at the sheet music set out before him. He went at the pace that sounded right, poured himself into the song and made it his own. Music always knew how to take Kendall away when he couldn't physically leave. In the sounds of the piano, the plucks of his guitar, the steady ba dum ba dum in a snare drum, Kendall was able to escape to his own Wonderland of beats and melodies.

"Oh wonderful! Wonderful! I think we're done here today, children! Off you go, shoo shoo!" the conductor said with a trill and waved them off. Kendall's brothers ran to him, crowding around him as the other children ran down the aisle to the pews in the back where their parents were waiting for them. The conductor came to Kendall with sheet music in hand, handing the documents over to Kendall with a grin. "Do learn these for me, Kendall. Our final number for my musical, it has to be perfect!" she chirped and Kendall took them with a nonchalant nod.

"Sure, sure," he mumbled and tucked the paperwork underneath his arm. He got up from the bench and closed the piano lid, taking the lead and walked down the aisle with his little brothers following close behind in step. They never really got around to playing with the other children after practice, always used to running to their father to brag about how they were the better singers than the others. Kendall only bit his lower lip at the thought, exiting out the large double doors before quickly rushing down the steps to the Impala.

Kendall's brothers climbed into the backseat, Kendall taking the driver's seat and tossed the documents into the passenger seat. He started the engine, drumming his fingers on the wheel as he took in a breath.

"Want to get a sundae? I'm treating."

Colin's eyes perked at the sound of that, always the one with a sweet tooth. Kendall smiled, turning onto the street in the direction of the parlor shop. "You guys ready for the musical?"

"Not at all," Rudy mumbled, knocking his knees together and glanced out the window.

"Mrs. Peatree wants us to be the birds."

"What's so bad about being the birds?" Kendall asked and Rudy shrugged.

"Birds sing more."

"So? You get to be in the spotlight."

"I like to listen to people sing more than I like to sing. I like to listen to you play more than I like to play," Rudy explained and Kendall nodded his head like he understood. He parked in front of the parlor, switching off the ignition before he turned around to face his little brothers.

"Go get us a spot at the counter, okay?" he asked and all three gave a nod. Colin was the first one to bolt out, Rudy and Lionel following him inside. Kendall switched off the ignition, reaching over to flip through the sheet music and let his eyes scan over the notes. He hummed a few measures, tapping his foot to make out a beat and tried to imagine the way it would sound on a piano before he tucked it back into the manila folder and placed it back in the passenger seat.

Kendall climbed out of the car and locked it, tucking the keys away in his pocket before he entered the parlor. It smelled of pies and apples, cinnamon and sugary sweets that made Kendall feel like he was being welcomed home. It reminded him of the way things used to be, when his father would come home after working in his large brown suit that was far too big for his lithe figure. His mother would be baking a pie, dressed in a flowery dress with apron tied around her waist and rush into the kitchen to kiss her before moving to hug Kendall and the little babies that were his little brothers. Home was the scent and Kendall breathed it in with ease.

Kendall took his spot on the stool, waiting for someone to come and serve them. It wasn't until he saw the person exiting out of the kitchen, did he felt his heart did a little nervous jump and he kept his eyes averted.

"Morning, boys," the boy said softly, voice as light as the coo of a dove with a smile that was warm and sweet as apple pie. Course, everyone in town knew that Carlos Garcia was the embodiment of kindness and warmth. He was only a year younger than Kendall, but he graduated along with his class. His skin was a golden caramel shade, his hair a dark coal black and eyes the color of milk chocolate that twinkled with the right tilt of his head.

Carlos laid out the menus in front of them, saving the last for Kendall as he gave a little smile to them all. "Would you like to sample the cup-pies I just made? Hot and fresh from the oven."

"Cup-pies?"

"Little pies that are the size of a teacup. They're really cute and light on your stomach," Carlos said with a content sigh and Kendall looked down at his brothers.

"They'll have sundaes, but I'll try these cup-pies of yours. Did you made apple?"

Carlos nodded and Kendall gave a smile. "Coming right up."

Carlos turned on his heel, facing away from them as he got the sundae bowls and opened the ice cream freezer. "What kind of ice cream would you like, boys?" Carlos asked, and there were shouts of chocolate and vanilla and rocky road and rainbow sherbet. Kendall had to laugh, watching as Carlos filled the three silver bowls mountain high with ice cream scoops of different colors and flavors. He moved to set the ice cream sundaes down in front of the boys and pointed over to the little stand on the side of the wall. "The toppings are over there, go nuts!"

The boys grinned, grabbing their bowls and rushed over to douse the ice cream with whipped cream and hot fudge. Kendall shook his head and smiled, looking back to find Carlos watching him and he gave a nervous little swallow.

"Uh. . .nice to see you again."

"It's only been a couple of days since the graduation ceremony."

"But you didn't go. Last thing I heard about you, Tad didn't want you to go to the ceremony," Kendall said rather dull. At this, Carlos immediately placed his arms behind his back, looking down and away from Kendall.

"Tad. . .doesn't like things like that. He wanted to throw me a party himself, it's not that big of a deal," Carlos murmured and Kendall drummed his fingers over the surface of the counter.

"Glad to see your arm is out of that cast I saw you in last," Kendall mentioned and Carlos held his head down lower.

"I'll go get your pies," he said in a rushed whisper, turning and running inside the kitchen before Kendall could comment anymore about Tad. New PalmWoods was small, everyone knew everyone's business. And everyone knew about Tad Stevenson, the big and dirty biker boy that lived on the outskirts of town. Everyone knew he was a brute, everyone knew that the sooner you just did what he want, the better it would be. And everyone knew that Carlos was Tad's personal punching bag to ridicule or hurt, rape or even worse.

Everyone except Carlos.

Carlos came out with a plate of little miniature apple pies, far more than what Kendall was expecting. He pushed the plate in front of Kendall, watching him with expecting eyes. "Go on, take a bite and tell me how delicious they are," he said with a grin and Kendall shook his head. He took his fork, cutting a piece off from one of the cup-pies to place into his mouth. The apple piece crunched between his teeth, fresh and crisp and warm. The crust was light and flaky, buttery enough to melt in his mouth with the warm cinnamon mixture and apple pieces. Kendall hummed, smile growing bigger as he cut himself another piece.

"If anything, I might have to take some home to snack on later."

"It's all on the house, the sundaes too," Carlos said and Kendall looked at the boy.

"No, I insist that I pay-"

"It's alright, Kendall. . .consider it as a thank you for that one time, okay?" Carlos said softly and Kendall almost choked on the piece of pie he was eating. He didn't know why, but he was hoping that Carlos didn't remember that time. That he wouldn't remember what he and Kendall did, the memories of sweet, sweet kisses lingering on his tongue and brokenhearted expressions from the girl that he once loved. And all the bruises and marks that were inflicted, the crying that Kendall thought he could fix and only made worse.

His head was only hurting and he placed his fork down to rub his face and give a groan.

". . .I'm sorry, I know you wouldn't want to talk about it," Carlos said quietly and Kendall looked at the boy. He was playing with the long sleeves of his shirt, Kendall making out a purple and black bruise that was barely being covered by the cuffs. "Just. . .well, I know you didn't mean any harm-"

"Stop talking about it. It happened in the past and we moved on, right? I mean, me and Jo are done but you. . ." Kendall stopped, taking an even larger bite of pie in hopes that he'd shut up for good and they can just leave. Carlos only rubbed his arms, the three little boys taking their spots back at the counter with sundaes beginning to melt and toppings abound. He smiled and gave a little laugh.

"Everything set?"

"Thank you, Mr. Garcia," Kendall's little brothers recited and Carlos gave a little wave of his hand.

"Mr. Garcia is the police officer. I'm Carlos," he said and poked Lionel's nose. "Got it?"

Lionel laughed, reaching over to poke Carlos' nose himself and Carlos smiled. "Got it," he said, and dove into his ice cream sundae. Kendall always did like how the Garcias were so friendly with his little brothers. Officer Garcia was always merciful when they accidentally broke a couple windows playing stickball, and Mrs. Garcia always used to bring over cakes and cookies and Spanish dishes for dinner whenever it was Mrs. Knight's turn to host the afternoon book club. They were the first to offer their condolences when Kendall's father died, and the only ones to not have forgotten about them.

Mostly because Officer Garcia and Mrs. Garcia were hoping that something would happen between Kendall and Carlos. Hoping for _anything _to get Carlos away from Tad.

"Are you doing anything special for summer break?" Carlos asked and Kendall shrugged his shoulders.

"I wanted to travel maybe. I haven't decided on a school and. . .well, I just want to get out of here. Get away from all the stuff that's happened here. My dad's death, my mom's smoking. . .everything." Kendall didn't know if Carlos was involved in that everything. From Carlos' expression slightly faltering, he guessed he was. Kendall wished his brothers weren't there right now, or wished that it was someone else serving him. He wished he didn't want to take Carlos into his arms like that night before, to pull up his sleeves and drag his lips over each bruise before he claimed Carlos' lips for his own and not worry about anyone being hurt.

". . .Listen, Carlos-"

The door to the parlor opened, and Carlos' eyes instantly widened in fear. Kendall closed his eyes, only knowing one person that could get Carlos' expression like that. He barely glanced over his shoulder, Tad strolling in with heavy chain boots and hands tucked into the pockets of his leather jacket. The blond only gave a glance at Kendall and his little brothers, Kendall hoping that at least Tad didn't remember, and the blond whistled as if he was calling for a dog.

Carlos quickly moved around the counter to Tad, allowing for the biker to run a finger up his arm and up his neck.

"Missed me?" he asked.

"Of course," Carlos said quietly and Tad laughed. He kissed him, firm and hard and groped at his behind while Kendall tried to resist the urge to throw up. He hoped that his brothers weren't taking any notice, blissfully unaware of the fake display of affection.

"Come on, we're leaving."

"I-I can't. I need to stay and work-"

"Work? I don't think you heard me. _We're leaving_," Tad said darkly and Kendall turned slightly to see the biker shove Carlos towards the kitchen. Carlos turned to look at Tad before he looked at Kendall. And his gaze on Kendall must have been too long since Tad stomped his boot and made everyone in the parlor jump. "Stop fucking staring and hurry up, you dizzy cow!"

"I'm sorry! I'll get my things!" Carlos said in a scared squeak, running to the back of the kitchen. Kendall turned in his seat, glaring at Tad as the blond grumbled and then looked at Kendall himself.

"He's stupid, right? Gotta train them though," Tad said with a laugh and Kendall frowned, balling his hands into fists.

"He'd probably do what you want if you didn't treat him like he was dirt," Kendall hissed and Tad quirked an eyebrow, blue eyes electrifying with anger.

"Excuse me? Carlos is mine, I can treat him however I want," he said, stepping forward with heavy steps. "Why don't you take the three little pigs over there and beat it before I beat your face in? Carlos!"

"Coming! I'm coming!" Carlos shouted back, running out of the kitchen with his coat and the keys to lock up. Tad smiled, crooking a finger and Carlos instantly went to move in his grasp.

"Why don't you tell your little customers to take their things and go, okay?" he said with a smile and Carlos bit his lower lip. Kendall's brothers were now watching them, eyes confused and scared while Kendall's eyes were only on Carlos. Carlos opened his mouth to speak, but closed it shut as he tried to find the words. Tad's hands moved fast to grab Carlos' throat tight, eyes wide as Carlos could barely choke out a breath. "_Say something_," he hissed and Kendall's eyes widened. He didn't know when he did it, or _how_, but his fist went band and shot forward to smash right into Tad's face. He sent the biker down to the ground, out cold for only a little while.

Carlos rubbed his neck, trying to calm his breathing before he looked at Kendall. Kendall looked down at Tad, then at his brothers who were already off their stools and huddled behind Kendall in fright. He looked at Carlos, the Latino boy staring at Tad's body with a look of fright. With one last glance at Kendall, he turned on his heel and ran out of the parlor. Kendall instantly began to run too, grabbing Lionel and Rudy's hands while Colin grabbed his sundae and followed his brothers out of the door and quickly piled into the Impala. With a hasty start of the engine, Kendall peeled away from the corner and onto the street.

His knuckles were numb and his blood was pumping. He glanced into the rear view mirror, at his brothers quiet faces (except for Colin who was trying to eat the ice cream with his fingers).

"Not a word about this to Mom, got it?"

"Got it."

* * *

Sunday rolled by again, Kendall getting his guitar and his notebook to take down to Summer's End. He rolled his pants up his skinny legs so they wouldn't get wet when he waded a bit in the water, then strapped his guitar onto his back and grabbed his bag. Kendall walked down the stairs with quick haste, giving only a quick peek into the kitchen to see his mother typing hastily at her typewriter. Kendall exited the house and made his walk down the street, breathing in the warm air and the hot sun over his skin.

"Hey!" someone shouted and Kendall turned, to his surprise seeing James running up behind him. He was in a pair of old washed out jeans and a tightly clinging polo shirt. Kendall's eyes lingered on the broad space of James' chest, feeling his cheeks growing hotter and not sure at all if it was the sun that was the cause of it. James bumped into Kendall with a grin. "Nice to see you again, stranger."

"Could I be a stranger if you're glad to see me _again_?"

"I don't know, but I rather like talking to a stranger like you."

"Parents always say don't talk to strangers."

"What do they know anyways?" James said with a scoff and let his fingers run over Kendall's guitar strings. "It's beautiful."

"My guitar?"

"I don't know how to play any instruments. I'd like to learn, I bet I'd get noticed a lot more if I could play an instrument _and _sing," James murmured and Kendall looked at the boy with a raised eyebrow.

"Get noticed? You want to be famous or something?"

"It's a nice day out, don't you think?"

_Changing the subject once again_, Kendall thought with a roll of his eyes. "Yeah. I always go down to Summer's End – the little neighborhood by the sea, by the way – and play my guitar for a while. It's nice and quiet and it gives me space to think away from my mother and my little brothers," Kendall said and it seemed like James paled a bit.

"Oh."

"You should see it, since you're visiting or on vacation or just passing through. If there's anything in New PalmsWood worth seeing, it's Summer's End."

Kendall turned the corner, James following close behind. His guitar bumped against his back, the soles of his feet lightly stepping over the sidewalk pavement. Kendall smiled at the corner of houses, wishing that he could remember the true significance about that one red house with the white trimming and the wishing well. He paused in front of it, almost forgetting that James was even there with him as he soaked in the sight.

"Can we keep going?" James asked, Kendall hinting a nervous edge in his tone. He looked over at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Why? I'm not in a hurry, are you?"

"I don't like the look of this place," James said and Kendall frowned.

"It's not like the houses are haunted or anything," Kendall said and James looked at the house, pulling his thin lips in to frown.

"There are demons in that house."

"Demons? What are you-"

"Please can we go?" James asked, stepping far too close and making Kendall shudder. Kendall looked back at the house, then back at James who suddenly moved his hand up to hold the front of Kendall's shirt. Kendall bit his lower lip.

"Sure, okay," he said quietly and James breathed a sigh of relief. James took Kendall's hand, warm and big. Kendall never realized how slim his hand was compared to James', slender and more light. James beamed, looking forward and began to pull Kendall away down the street. Away from the house with demons that Kendall will never find out about.

Away from memories that Kendall will never truly know.

* * *

"Play me something," James said, sitting on the sand and stretched out his long legs. Kendall looked out to the ocean, waves slowly rolling in to wash onto the shore before he gave the body of the guitar a tap.

"What would you like to hear?"

"Anything. What's your favorite song?"

"Well. . .my dad always used to sing Moon River to me and my little brothers before he would tuck us in to bed. . ."

"How sentimental," James said and Kendall shot him a look. The brunet gave a wave of his hand. "Go on, start playing."

Kendall bit the inside of his cheek, looking down at the fretboard before he placed his fingers over the strings and began to pluck out the tune. He began to sing, strumming out the chords and fingerpicked the notes, letting himself get lost in the tune and music. The ocean sounds ghosted over his skin, wrapping him up tight in a grasp that he never wanted to be freed from. As Kendall sang 'two drifters', a second voice joined him, and it warmed Kendall to his core. He didn't open his eyes, listening and feeling the voice intertwine and mix with his own in a beautiful duet. It was like silk, an innocent seduction that tickled up Kendall's spine and teased to take his breath away. A few more plucks, a few more strums and the two voices sustained that last note that faded out as the waves moved onto the shore. Kendall looked down, seeing James staring up into the sky, lying flat on his back with a content smile on his lips.

"Was that you?" Kendall asked.

"Maybe," James sing-songed.

"Tell 'maybe' that they sound beautiful."

"'Maybe' says thank you," James said, eyes twinkling before he closed them and breathed deep. "Sing for me again, another song."

Kendall obliged, only to hear James sing again and experience their two voices becoming one.

* * *

Sometime in between singing and playing guitar, Kendall and James wound up lying next to each other and watching the empty sky. No words were exchanged, just bathing in the sunlight and feeling the hot sand underneath their skin.

"Do you ever wonder what the sky is like in a different place?" James asked and Kendall furrowed his eyebrows.

"It would be the same, wouldn't it?"

"No, it wouldn't. It'd be different cause everything around you would be different. Like. . .if I lied down on a beach in Italy and looked up at the sky, it'd be different. Cause it's not this beach, and I wouldn't be with someone I cared about."

Kendall hummed. "But then, you'd still be under the same sky. You'd be in your somewhere and they would be in theirs', but it's still the same sky."

"I'd like it more if it was _our _somewhere and we'd be under _our _sky." James looked over at Kendall. "That sounds nicer, doesn't it?"

Kendall rubbed his nose. "Yeah, it does. . ."

"You're so simple, Kendall."

"I try to be."

"Does a complicated thought ever enter that blond head of yours?" James asked and Kendall smiled.

"All the time. I just don't talk about them. I like to think."

"You shouldn't keep your thoughts all bottled up like that. One day, your head is going to be filled up with too many thoughts. And then you don't know which thought belongs to yours, or came from someone else, or is for someone. You get confused, you get lost. . .scared. And then, you explode."

Kendall figured James wouldn't like the question he wanted to ask, so he kept his mouth shut. James breathed a sigh and lazily twirled his fingers into the fabric of Kendall's shirt. "What was she like?"

"What was who like?"

"Jo." Kendall closed his eyes at the sound of the girl's name. "Was she nice?. . .Was she beautiful?"

"She was both. I don't really want to talk about her, James."

"Why did you guys break up?"

"None of your business," Kendall said sharply, glaring at the brunet and James gave him a glare to match. James stood up onto his feet, toeing off his shoes before he walked to the shoreline. Kendall found the urge to follow him, like a puppy followed its master. He grew slightly annoyed that he was already growing so attached to James' ways, mystified by the stranger that shouldn't be a stranger anymore.

He stood alongside James, the two looking out at the water's edge and the sun glimmering off the blue water. "Have you ever swam in the ocean?" James asked and Kendall shook his head 'no'. Then all of a sudden, James shoved Kendall _hard_ and an incoming wave made Kendall lose his balance. He fell right into the water, still floundering around in it even though it wasn't even deep. Kendall managed to breathe, looking up at James surprised before he balled his hands into fists as the brunet smiled down at him. "Now you have."

"Are you _insane?_"

"Not at all, I'm just fun and you're a grump."

Kendall responded by dragging James down into the water with him. James screamed, Kendall trying to shove the brunet's head underwater and drown him before James pushed up and tackled Kendall down. The water was pulling them farther and farther away from the shore with each push and pull, ebb and flow. Kendall grabbed the back of James' neck and James grabbed Kendall's waist, throwing the blond on top of him.

Kendall swallowed, realizing what a compromising position they were in and grateful that those men that always fished weren't here today. He was soaked to the bone, cold and clothes heavy with seawater. James smiled at Kendall, his big hands moving down Kendall's spine to rest at the crest of Kendall's hipbones. "You can kiss me if you want, I don't mind," James said and Kendall blinked.

"W-What?"

"Kiss me."

Kendall blinked again, hard for his brain to process with the water hitting their bodies every couple of seconds. He shook his head, getting off of James and awkwardly shuffled up the beach to grab his guitar. His mother was going to _kill _him for getting so soaked. He turned, seeing James running up behind him. "Are you leaving?"

"Yeah, I got seawater in places I don't _want _seawater to be," Kendall said with a disgusted (and cold) shiver. James tilted his head to the side, pushing the wet brown hair out of his face.

"Can I walk with you back?"

"As long as you promise not to shove me in the street or something," Kendall mumbled and James laughed. He wrapped arms around Kendall, Kendall's cheeks heating as James brushed the tips of their noses together, lips dangerous close. James' breath was warm and inviting, Kendall's chest aching to seal the distance and taste James fully.

"I wouldn't dream of it, stranger."

* * *

They walked, the sun slightly heating their bodies and drying their clothes. But they still left a trail of water with each step, Kendall only sighing. He carried his guitar in his hands, not wanting the seawater of his shirt messing up the wood. James actually took _off _his shirt, wringing it out in his hands and Kendall was doing all he could to keep his eyes away from each rippling muscle and flex of the torso as they passed Summer's End. James stopped all of a sudden and Kendall turned, looking at the brunet confused.

"What is it? Aren't you coming?" he asked, but James didn't respond. He only stared at the red house with white trimmings, blank and emotionless. Then, James opened the white gate and stepped onto the property. Kendall's eyes widened, putting down his guitar. "Hey! We can't go on the property without permission!" Kendall didn't know permission from who, exactly, since no one lived in any of these homes for years.

James stopped halfway down the little dirt path leading up to the front porch and the coral white door. Kendall stared and watched the boy, nervous heart beating fast. Then, James bent down and picked up a rock.

And hurled it through one of the bottom floor windows with a scream.

Kendall blinked, not moving until James grabbed another rock and threw it at the porch steps. "Stop! What the hell are you doing?!" Kendall screamed, running and grabbed James roughly from behind. James twisted and turned in his grasp, skin wet from the ocean and Kendall felt himself growing dizzy from smelling the ocean mist and cologne mixing. James yanked himself away from Kendall, turning to face the blond with watery eyes. Kendall breathed, looking at the broken window before back at James. "You _are _insane."

"I'm not, I swear," James said, frail and hurt.

"Then _why _did you throw a fucking _rock?_"

"You don't know about this place," James whispered and Kendall gave an eyeroll.

"Oh, I don't know about the place that I've grown up in my _entire life _while some random guy knows everything. Including a reason to destroy property."

"Don't talk down to me like I'm crazy, I'm not!"

"Then what's the demons, James? What about this house that I don't know? What are you hiding that you don't want me to know about? _Who are you?_"

James placed his wet shirt to his face and Kendall rubbed the back of his neck, waiting for an answer. Instead, James pushed away and ran down the opposite end of Summer's End towards the beach. Kendall followed James out, watching the boy run away from him for a second time and leaving behind a bunch of questions left unanswered.

He looked at the broken window before he shook his head and hurried off of the property, grabbing his guitar and didn't stop running until he got home.


	3. Anything for a Dime

_Here's the next chapter of the story. And I'm hoping that it's going well cause like I said, I don't really know what to make of this story just yet. Anyways, thanks to ifthesesheetswerestates, Anonymous Skrtle, StarkDiamond, Helen Wood, TheFanMark, Gmavy, KenlosForever, Chey21, leann15, CUTE CARGAN LOVE, Hajajjkjdk, bluestring, BelieversNeverDie18, DayMoon89 and LoveSparkle for the alerts, favs and reviews._

_So, as you can see this story jumped to M so I'm going to do something different starting now with this particular story. Mainly just listing the characters that are going to appear in the chapter plus any warnings and to answer a message:_

_The entire list of pairings for this fic are: Kendall/James endgame, Kendall/Carlos, Carlos/Tad, James/OCs, Carlos/Logan (which might be endgame, I'm not sure just yet), Logan/OCs, Logan/Camille. At least, that's what I have so far._

**Characters**: Kendall, James, Rudy, Colin, Lionel, Carlos, Tad. Mrs. Knight (mentions of Jo and Mr. Knight)

**Warnings**: Rape, voyeurism-ish situation, song lyrics from The Civil Wars' "I've Got this Friend"

* * *

"How long is it going to take?"

"Ten, fifteen minutes tops," Kendall said to his little brothers, watching the man in front of them search the mail and packages for anything addressed to them. He didn't expect much, mail was a rarity to occur for the Knights. Ever since his father died, the letters of bereavement and flowers and gifts for all four boys flooded in all at once. And once family and friends felt they sent enough condolences, the mail stopped flowing, and the Knights were left alone in the forgotten little town that no one would write to. Kendall stuck his hands in his pockets, rocking on his heels as his brothers shifted and fidgeted in their spots beside him.

"Could we go to the ice cream parlor again?"

Kendall almost choked on his breath. "I. . .I don't think that's a good idea. Wouldn't want to run into Tad again, my fist is still sore from punching him last time."

"Carlos is very nice, why does he even need to hang around Tad?" Rudy asked and Kendall shrugged.

"I don't know. Just promise that if you're in a situation like he was, you tell me or your brothers, got it?" Kendall said sternly with a wag of his finger and Rudy beamed. He wagged his finger at his elder brother, before they all turned their attention back to the mail carrier sorting and organizing and looking for a letter that neither of them figured existed.

"Hello."

Kendall turned, spotting James standing behind him. His hair was slightly askew, brushed up in an attempt to look clean and orderly, but still rather lazy as if he just rolled out of bed. He was dressed in a brown coat, pulling it closed since there were no buttons, and a pair of jeans handsomely tailored. Kendall swallowed.

"Hello."

"What are you doing here?"

"Getting mail," Kendall said and James moved to stand behind him. He smelled of warmth and buttermilk, smooth and sweet with his skin a sun-kiss pink around his cheeks and his lips Kendall felt a longing to touch with his own.

"Mail from who?"

"We don't know yet."

"How do you know there _is _mail for you if you don't know whose sending it to you?"

"We don't."

James hummed. He looked around Kendall, at the three boys that sometimes stole glances at him before they turned their attention to the mail carrier and back again. "Your brothers?"

Kendall looked down at them too. "Yeah. This one is Rudy, this one's Lionel, and this is Colin," Kendall introduced, placing a hand atop each boy's head as he named them. James gave them a smile and a small wave before he moved back to hold his coat closed.

"I wish I had a brother, or a sister. I don't really care if they were older or younger than me, I just want one," James replied and Kendall gave a smile.

"You think they would make the world go round?"

"No, but they would probably make the world a little less lonely for me." James looked upwards into the flickering lights of the news room, while Kendall only looked over his face until he heard a man sigh.

"Sorry boys. Nothing today," the mail carrier gruffed and Kendall nodded his head, not feeling any disappointment, but the lingering taste of bitterness was still on his tongue. He placed an arm around Rudy and Colin, Lionel following behind them with James following behind him. The five of the boys exited out, into the first windy day of the summer that whistled loud tunes every time it blew past Kendall's ears. James fell into quicker step with Kendall, holding his coat tighter.

"I need to talk to you."

"Can it wait til I at least get my brothers home?"

"No."

Kendall rolled his eyes. "First off, I want you to know that I'm not crazy. I just have a bad temper. Everyone is allowed to throw a temper tantrum once in a while, otherwise it'll bottle up and you'll be a ticking time bomb and take out your anger on something or someone innocent."

"So you just have little bouts of anger that makes you want to smash windows? Would you have tried to hit me or something?" Kendall asked sarcastically.

"No."

"Then you're lying about your bad temper."

"So maybe I am lying. The fact of the matter is that I'm not crazy and whatever happened at Summer's End should be forgotten about. There are more important things anyways," James said with a scoff and Kendall cocked his head to the side.

"Like what?"

"Will you take me somewhere tonight? You're the only person I know here that has a car," James said, the five of them turning round the corner. Colin, Rudy, and Lionel ran ahead of them, jumping over the cracks in the cement like it was a variation of hopscotch with no lines. Kendall bit the inside of his cheek.

"Why can't you walk there? Everything is close by around here?"

"Will you walk me there if you won't drive me?"

"Where is this place you want to go?"

"It's that little coffee shop. They play music in the evenings, don't they?" James asked and Kendall shrugged.

"It depends on if there's anyone performing. . .okay, I will." He wasn't expecting soft lips to appear on his cheek, James kissing him firm and with a little hum against his skin. But Kendall kept his lips tight, fighting a smile, a laugh, an urge to kiss James back. He turned to look at the brunet with a crooked eyebrow. "Kissing people. Is that how you show thanks wherever you're from?"

"No, I think it's just you I like to kiss. Or rather, I've had a habit of kissing people and I haven't grown out of it."

That made Kendall feel a little bit less special, nodding his head before he paused in front of his home. His little brothers already ran inside as Kendall turned to face James. "Where will you be at so I can walk you to the shop?" Kendall asked.

James looked up at the sky, like the clouds were giving him the destination. Kendall looked up too, nothing but a few white puffs in the vast open blue before James nodded his head.

"The parlor." And with that, James turned on his heel and strode away, humming a tune that Kendall could easily recognize as the first few notes of Moon River.

* * *

"Who was the boy you all met at the mail carrier?" his mother asked as soon as Kendall walked inside. His brothers were nowhere in sight, though Kendall could hear upstairs the beginning of Bach's Sinfonia No. 1 in C major from the record player. No doubt, they were the ones that blabbed. He sighed, toeing off his shoes before he walked into the kitchen where his mother was sipping her tea. The stubbed out remains of the cigarette was still in the ashtray, burning lightly as Kendall sat down and eyed it.

"James. He's new."

"They said he was handsome. And that you think he's crazy."

"He is. I just don't think he knows it yet, if that makes sense."

She shook her head, which meant that it didn't. Kendall sighed, leaning back in the old wooden chair. "He's very handsome, he looks like one of those models that fell out of a fashion catalogue from Prague or Milan or New York. He may or may not have a temper, and he may or may not be crazy. He's lonely, I suppose, but he doesn't act lonely, I think. I don't know how to explain him, Mom. He's. . .different." Kendall sighed, dissatisfied that he couldn't come up with a better word to describe him.

"Do you like him?"

"A little. Maybe. He's nice."

She rested her chin on her hand. "Let me rephrase that. Do you have _feelings_ about him?"

Kendall blushed. "I. . .I don't know. I don't know what the feeling that I always feel whenever I'm around him is because it can't be love. I don't love him, I barely know him. But at the same time, I want to know him, and I'm sure I would love him. So maybe I do like him. . .maybe it's infatuation. . .I don't know."

She sighed, shaking her head with a little smile on her lips. "You sound like your father. Such a magnificent and creative mind, but with no way to form and collect all your thoughts," she said and Kendall drummed his fingers over the surface of the table.

". . .I miss him, you know."

She pursed her lips. "We all do. But. . .there's a reason for everything, Kendall. And I'm sure he wouldn't want us sad about what happened anymore."

"So you want us to forget about him then? Forget about him like everyone else forgot about us?"

"No, I didn't mean that, Kendall-"

"And what reason is there for Dad dying? What reason for anyone getting hit by a speeding truck-"

"Kendall, he ran out in front of that truck-"

"_He didn't kill himself!_" Kendall screamed, banging his fists on the table. His mother's hands were trembling and Kendall glared at them. Slim and bony, pale in comparison to his father's that were always the lightest shade of cream. Kendall turned around, pulling open one of the cupboards and grabbed a cigarette pack and a green lighter. He tossed both of the items onto the table and his mother snatched them up, quickly getting out a cigarette to stick in between her red lips and give a few quick flicks of the lighter.

Kendal watched her breathe a drag before she exhaled the smoke out through her nostrils and her open mouth. "I'm going out," he said bitterly.

"You just were out." She sounded so drained, and frankly so was he. He rubbed his face, exiting the kitchen before the smoke got to his brain, and trudged upstairs. His brothers were sprawled out on the floor, the small record player in the center holding their attention. Kendall looked down at them before he got down on the ground next to Colin. Kendall closed his eyes, listening to the music and allowed himself to be taken away. Past Summer's End to the water's edge that was left unexplored, with the lot of world for Kendall to see. There was his happiness, his someplace that he dreamed of and desperately wanted to find a way to get there. Kendall drifted off to sleep, remaining there even after his brothers changed out the records.

* * *

The sky was an orange, blue-violet early that evening as Kendall walked up the street with the parlor a few feet away from him. The air wasn't chilly, but he still wore a hoodie and a beanie over his dirty blond locks. He felt a little tickle ghost over his nose, like someone kissed it, and he sneezed before he heard a little laugh.

"Catching a cold?" James asked, leaning up against the window and Kendall rubbed his nose.

"No, just cold," Kendall murmured and James stepped closer. He brought gloved hands to his face, rubbing them over his skin and warming Kendall to the bone. Kendall's arms immediately crossed themselves, as to restrict himself from grabbing onto the front of James' dark coat.

"Better?" James asked quietly and Kendall nodded, face still in James' warm grasp.

"Better."

James reached down and took his hand, before the two boys began to walk down the street together. "Will you go to the mail carrier tomorrow to see if you get anything?"

"Probably not. We usually check once every three weeks, but it's always the same," Kendall muttered, not trying to focus too much on their interlocked hands or the reason why James wanted to hold his hand in the first place.

"Do you write to people?"

"No. I mean, my mom wants us to write to our family members across the country, or call them sometime. But. . .I don't really want to talk to them right now, I feel too bitter about why they stopped trying to talk to us first."

"Why did they stop?"

"I don't know, that's why I feel bitter about it."

James walked closer to Kendall, their arms brushing. "I remember when I used to write to a boy when I was little. He was very kind and very darling, we told each other everything. I always felt he was the only one that understood me, I was planning on us running away together and living happily ever after over the rainbow."

"What happened to him?"

"He stopped writing to me. I guess he forgot about me."

"How could anyone forget about you?" Kendall asked and James looked over at him, confused.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean. . .you don't seem like the person to be so easily forgotten."

"You think so?" James was looking at him with slight bitterness and Kendall bit his lower lip. Maybe he _does _have a temper problem, so Kendall tried to choose his words wisely.

"_I_ wouldn't forget about you, at least."

James stared, before he sighed and gave a smile. "You're so simple, Kendall. I like that about you."

"And you're very complex," Kendall replied and James smiled even more.

"Is that something you like about me?" James asked and Kendall tilted his head from side to side. _Just one of the things I like about you_.

* * *

The coffee shop was dimly lit, smoky and dark with only a blue light over the stage. James sat down at the table, Kendall sitting across from him and tapped his hands over the surface of the table. "So. . .who did you want to listen to here, anyways?"

James leaned back in his seat. "Well. . .I was wondering if maybe you would sing something. . .with me."

Kendall's eyes widened as James gestured over to the stage, where the old piano and a stool was set up along with a couple of amps and guitars along the backwalls. "I heard that anyone can grab an instrument, sit down and play, right?"

"W-Well yeah but-"

"Sing with me, please?"

"But-" James reached his hand out to hold Kendall's. He didn't notice the pleading look in his eyes, the glimmer of warmth in the honeynut hazel orbs.

"_Please_," James plead quietly, voice barely a breathy whisper. Kendall swallowed before he looked back at the stage. Slowly, Kendall rose to his feet and sighed the same moment James shot to his feet with a bright grin.

"Only cause you said 'please'," Kendall murmured. Cause certainly Kendall wasn't doing this because it didn't seem like he could say _no _to the brunet. It wasn't love that he was feeling now, nor was it lust. He didn't know what was going on in his head when he dealt with James, but how warm his chest grew whenever he was around James was a feeling he liked.

The coffee shop owner knew Kendall well, like all citizens of New PalmsWood knew everyone else. So he gave a loud booming laugh and happily slapped Kendall on the back towards the guitars he had hanging on the wall. Kendall only gave him an uneasy smile, grabbing at least his favorite guitar on display. A spruce wood Taylor, with silvery tuners and nylon strings that sounded like a lullaby. The two boys walked up and took their spot on the barstools, Kendall adjusting the microphone for the guitar before he gave it a strum and tune.

"What song do you want to sing?" Kendall asked and James rocked from side to side.

"Play anything, I'll catch on," James said with a careless smile and Kendall only stared. He sighed, racking his mind for a song that James would know and he could play. People were watching them, expecting them to either play something or get off the stage, so Kendall closed his eyes and tried to think of any song that could come to his mind. Slowly, Kendall began to fingerpick and strum, tapping along with the guitar beat and bobbed his head.

"_I've got this friend, I don't think you know him. He's not much for words, he's hidden his heart away_," Kendall sung softly, letting the song slowly fall from his lips like a sweet breath to a lover. "_I've got this friend, a loveless romantic. All he really wants, is someone to love him back_."

Surprise came over him when James jumped into the chorus, warm and passionate with a wail that could rival the most beautiful coos of a dove. Their voices mixed, like a personal ballet of wavering pitches and steady harmonies. Like they belonged together, fitting perfectly like missing pieces of a puzzle of sound.

"_I've got this friend, I don't think you know him. He sings a simple song that sounds a lot like his_," James sang along, Kendall paying note to the change of gender before he shook his head and continued to strum and tap his foot. "_I've got this friend, holding onto his heart. Like it's a little secret, like it's all he's got to give_."

People were entranced, watching silently or slowly rocking to the beat of the guitar and taps to the body of the instrument from Kendall's hand. "_It'd be such a shame,_" James drawled.

"_If they never meet_," Kendall breathed.

"_He sounds lovely_," James sung, pulling the note from his lips with a gasp and making Kendall want to pull a gasp from those perfect lips with his own.

"_He sounds like a dream_. _If only, if only, if only~_"

"_Oh, if the right one came. If the right one came along_," they sung, perfect harmony and their voices echoing upwards into the wooden high ceiling. Kendall could feel his breath being taken away, head growing dizzy from James' voice alone and watching the boy get wrapped up in his words and the song. There was something about James when he sang, a vulnerable and passionate way so desperate to fly away but was trapped by something that Kendall may never know. When James, he was free, at least for that short time. It made Kendall smile, it made Kendall ache to hear the boy sing again and want encore after encore.

It made Kendall like him a smidge bit more. Not enough to be in love, but enough to know that he indeed _did _like James Diamond.

* * *

When they walked off-stage, James turned to Kendall with a bright smile. "I need to be off," James said and Kendall rose an eyebrow.

"Off where?"

"Have business to do with someone. Nothing you need to worry about," James said with a wave of his hand. Before Kendall could even question it, James leaned forward fast and gave a peck on Kendall's cheek. "Thank you for singing with me," he mouthed against Kendall's warm skin, giving another firm kiss to the blond's cheekbone before he pulled away. With a wink, James turned on his heel and disappeared off to a corner of the coffee bar too dimly lit for Kendall to follow where he was going. He sighed, figuring that he might as well get back home and eat dinner before heading off to bed. Kendall stuck his hands into the pockets of his coat and exited the coffee bar, tucking his shoulders up to cover his ears from the cold.

Kendall walked down the street with his head down, determined to get home as quickly as possible. New PalmsWood was not known for having crime, the only menaces to society was really Tad and his crew. And even with them, they always stayed on their part of the town to mess up and destroy. But the night air was cold and the streets were dimly lit with a streetlamp on every other block. He gave a sigh, watching his heated breath turn to fog and dissipate into the air, before he slightly paused at the sound of a long and drawn out moan. Kendall paused, turning to locate the source of the moaning, slight worry that someone was hurt.

Instead, when he neared an alleyway, the moans grew louder and Kendall peered around the corner of the brick wall. There was Tad, his back against the cold brick wall with his dark jeans and underwear bunched around his thighs. Kneeling in front of him was Carlos, the boy's head bobbing back and forth to swallow down Tad's length. Kendall tried his best to keep hidden, not knowing why he was standing there watching this. He should feel sick to his stomach, no doubt this was humiliating for Carlos to being doing something like this in a place so public, regardless if it was dark.

Carlos' lips were wrapped around Tad's dick perfectly, sliding with ease before he sucked on the tip and moved back down. His other hand was rolling Tad's balls, sliding a finger along the underside of his cock every time he pulled back upwards to lick and suck on the head. Tad groaned, pulling his lower lip in between his teeth and moaned loud when Carlos went downdowndown to the base of his cock.

Kendall placed a hand to his crotch, finding he was starting to grow hard. His eyes were only on Carlos, skilled lips sucking and licking with emotionless eyes. Though when Kendall remembered Carlos that night, they weren't emotionless. They were filled with need, with want, with tears that fell when Carlos went too far down far too quickly. He could almost taste the strawberry spiked punch on his tongue, his mind growing hazy as he rubbed himself through his jeans. It wasn't even Tad getting a blowjob, when his eyes trailed upwards to look at him, he saw his own head against the back of the wall with eyes closed and lips falling open in a moan. His own hands were tangled in Carlos' dark locks, soft and short just how he remembered it. They weren't in the alleyway either, they were in that tiny bedroom with rose tinted walls where downstairs people were singing "Happy Birthday, Jo" without the boyfriend of the birthday girl there with her. The haze of non-existing alcohol was burning Kendall's throat, rubbing faster and breathing harsher.

And as he let his eyes flicker over once again, Carlos' eyes were watching him, his lips still sealed around Tad's length. Kendall felt his breath becoming harder to fill his lungs, like he could feel the wet tongue of Carlos' sliding up the underside of his cock and his teeth grazing against the head accidentally and so inexperienced. He was a pervert, an absolute pervert, but he couldn't tear his eyes away like Carlos wasn't tearing his eyes away from him.

That is, until Tad growled out, "What are you _fucking looking at?!_"

Kendall quickly hid back around the wall, scared that he was caught but heard a painful sounding slap and Carlos crying out. Kendall's heart was racing, fear and anger and disgust at Tad and himself creeping into his chest and up his spine. "I-I'm sorry Tad, I didn't – oh Tad please don't, please, _please don't!_"

Carlos gave a choked cry and Kendall didn't want to look. His cock was growing softer, a pit of disgust welling inside his stomach. How could he find this arousing, Tad _forcing _Carlos to give him a blowjob. With another cry from the alley, Kendall slowly peered around the edge of the wall. Carlos was on the ground, Tad above him fucking into him rough and most likely without any lubrication or stretching. Carlos' face was getting dirty, his hands balled into tight fists and sobbing loudly with his legs quaking trying to hold Tad's weight.

"You like this, don't you? Say it, _say it!_" Tad hissed and Carlos looked up, eyes meeting Kendall's and Kendall felt shame washing over him.

"I-I love it," Carlos panted, ducking his head away shamefully the same time Kendall's did. He could do something, he _should _do something. He could charge Tad, grab Carlos and run away. But instead, Kendall felt himself walking backwards, away from Carlos' cries and Tad's filthy grunts and groans. He turned on his heels and ran away, leaving the dirty fantasies and guilty memories behind in that gutter of an alleyway.

Along with the boy he could never truly love the way he needed to be.


	4. Lovable, Just Troubled

_Here's the next chapter. And last chapter will most likely be the end of part one so yay for that! Part 2 is going to be the major bulk of the story anyways, this is just a sort of extended prologue. Anyways, thanks to mandie1511, Sassy Kames, xTheTearsThatNeverFallx, ticklemekendall, waitingFORthePERFECTsong9092, teamtopshelf, bluestring, CUTE CARGAN LOVE, leann15, LoveSparkle, KenlosForever, TheFanMark, Chey21 and BelieversNeverDie18 for the alerts, favs and reviews! Hope you all enjoy!_

**Characters**: Kendall, Carlos, Jo, the Knights, mentions of James and Tad

**Warnings**: Little snipet of 'And I Love Her' by The Beatles, awkward sexual tension between Kenlos

* * *

Kendall woke up to the sounds of Beethoven and smells of hash browns frying along with some eggs and bacon. He rubbed at his eyes, pushing his blond hair out of his face and upwards into a little makeshift quiff. Kendall swung his legs out of bed, only in a pair of pajama bottoms, before he rubbed his back and gave a tired sigh. He walked out of his bedroom, finding that his little brothers were not surrounded by the record player like usually. Yet, the device was still playing without anyone around to listen, Logan watching the vinyl spin round and round.

He walked down the steps, peering his head into the kitchen to see his mother serving his little brothers their plates of breakfast. Kendall walked inside and gave a kiss to her cheek before he took his spot at the table. He looked to his left, where his father normally would be sitting with his hair just as messy and the light bit of stubble that he needed to shave before he headed off to work. Kendall felt his stomach turn and he sighed, watching as his mother scraped some food onto his plate and gestured to the pitcher of orange juice and toast on the plate.

"Morning, Kendall."

"Morning."

"I talked to Connie about you working in her little diner. Earning some tips and a salary ought to do you well for the summer, don't you think?" his mother asked and Kendall glared at her.

"I'm fine. I was thinking about maybe charging my services as a musician at the church or at parties and stuff."

"Well how much would you expect to make from that, Kendall? This is a more stable job offer and you're not going to throw it away, I won't allow it."

"Mom, I can take care of myself. I'm eighteen."

"Then I expect you to make adult decisions and _to take care of yourself_. As of lately, you've been doing nothing but going back and forth to Summer's End. What do you even do there, Kendall? Besides playing guitar?"

Kendall ate a forkful of hash browns to keep himself from hissing at his mother. "The point is, you need to start bringing in money, Kendall. At least _try _to help support the family now that you're an adult," she said with a tired sigh, sitting down in her spot and opening up the morning paper. Kendall looked over to his little brothers, the three of them eating quietly without a single care in the world. He sighed, pushing around the eggs before he ate them up quickly. Kendall just wanted to leave, eating quicker so he could get out of the house and hopefully someplace that wouldn't make him feel so bad for not knowing a thing about what he wanted to do with his life.

He finished his plate and his glass of orange juice, gathering his dirty dishes up and over to the sink where he washed and dried them. "I'm going out," Kendall murmured to no one in particular and turned on the balls of his bare feet to go back upstairs.

"Do go to the diner and see about the job, Kendall," his mother said from behind her cup of coffee.

". . .Fine."

* * *

The diner was a rustic little area that should have been placed in a postcard. The walls were a faded white and the doors were large with big glass windows looking in. Kendall opened the door and walked inside, listening to the sound of music play over the old speakers as the smells of breakfast cooking in the back floated into his nose. Kendall sighed, rubbing his neck as he moved to sit down and wait for Connie to stroll by.

Instead, he got someone else.

Someone he really didn't want to see.

". . .Hey," the soft voice greeted and Kendall felt his blood running cold. He looked up, meeting brown orbs that didn't know whether to look hurt or sad or furious.

"Hey Jo," Kendall murmured, awkwardness seeping into his bones and making his hands begin to shake and jitter. He placed his hands under the table, but now found he couldn't stop knocking his knees together as the girl handed him a menu.

"What can I get you?"

"Had breakfast already, actually. . .u-um, just some pancakes I guess. With syrup and coffee," Kendall said and she wrote down the order in silence. Her eyes would flicker up often to Kendall's face while he just kept his head down. "I. . .I thought you would have been gone to New York already."

"I will be. I have a few more months here before I'm supposed to be moving over there. Why, in a rush to get me out of town?" she asked, no hint of malice in her tone at all, but the words still stung hard.

"N-No, nothing like that at all. Just. . .once everyone graduated, they all just upped and disappeared from town."

"Well you know, no one really wants to stay here. It's too small of a town, everyone knows everyone here and no one really likes that."

"Are you on a break?" Kendall asked and Jo looked around. There was no one really in the diner, save for them two and a man reading the newspaper with his food already out in front of him.

". . .I'll put your order in. . .then we could talk," she said quietly and Kendall nodded his head. He raised his fingers to his lips, chewing on his nails as he watched the girl turn and move to the kitchen. Her cornflower hair was up in a ponytail and trailed behind her, simple beauty that Kendall could feel going through his fingers the way it used to when they kissed. He looked out the window, the sky empty save for the hot sun above. It would have been a nice day to go to Summer's End, he just knew it. And he had to wait for Connie to show up so he could at least tell his mother he _tried _to talk to her.

Jo walked back, tucking the pencil behind her ear before she sat across from Kendall. "So. . .how are things?"

"Things are fine, things are well. Not many things to do here though, so things aren't really things, its more nothing."

"Nothing is fine?"

"Nothing is nothing."

"Nothing is boring, isn't it?"

Kendall sighed. "It is. . .I don't know. I just hope I'll be able to have my chance to leave this town too. I don't want to be stuck here any longer," he replied, tracing his finger in little circles on the surface of the table. "Is Tyler going with you to New York?"

"Maybe he is. I don't know, I know he wants to though. . .let me check to see if the coffee is done. Want to have any special cream or sugar?" Jo asked, hastily getting up and Kendall nodded his head rather awkwardly. She did the same, turning to go back inside the kitchen and Kendall slumped in his spot. He wanted to leave right now, pain growing too heavy in his chest. He didn't want to escape nothing, he wanted to escape the guilt and bad memories that managed to get all bottled up in this tiny little town. Jo, his father, Carlos. . .everything. Jo came back round with a coffee pot and a mug, settling down the mug first before she poured the hot drink inside. Kendall mumbled a quiet thank you, taking the creams and sugars she offered to fix his coffee as she sat back down.

". . .What are you going to do with yourself, Kendall?" she asked suddenly and Kendall almost dropped his mug when he reached for it to take a sip. He looked down, opening his mouth to speak but shutting it closed.

"I. . .I don't know. I want to travel, I guess. I want to see the world _outside _of this town. And I want to play music. . .I don't know if I really want to go to school."

She hummed. "What about. . ._him?_" It was then that Kendall heard the malice, and Kendall felt guilt was stuck in his throat.

"He has Tad. . .I can't step into his life again-"

"Like at the party?"

"Jo-"

"Will you ever tell me _why_, Kendall? Cause every time after that night when I see you, it's the question that I want answered the most. You two aren't together, you show absolutely no interest in being together and yet. . ._we're _not together. You don't even see other girls or other boys, I don't understand-"

"I don't either, to be honest," Kendall said quietly and took a sip of coffee. "I mean. . .Carlos is. . .I don't know what he is to me now."

". . .Was he just a fling?"

"Maybe."

". . .Was I just a fling?"

". . .Yes."

Jo stared, pulling her lower lip into her mouth and Kendall could see her eyes trying to hold back from crying over a boy that wouldn't know a thing to do about it. "So since I was a fling, then I don't deserve an answer why you cheated on me."

"I don't know, Jo. I don't know if it was because I was drunk or if it was because he was so lonely and I just wanted to make him happy and. . .I don't know. I'm sorry, Jo. That's all I can say to you."

"I don't want an apology, I just want an explanation," she said quietly, rising to her feet. "I'll get your pancakes, they must be done by now."

"You don't have to sit with me when you bring them."

"Good, I wasn't intending to."

* * *

Kendall left a reasonable tip, though he barely finished off the pancakes and coffee. He was already stuffed from breakfast at home, now Kendall felt his stomach was going to explode from all the food he consumed. He dragged his feet, figuring he'd go home and tell his mother that the diner didn't work out. Connie was sick, so she wasn't going to come in anyways. And maybe that would buy him more time to work out something else. A job that he'd enjoy _much _more than waiting on people and seeing Jo every single day.

He stepped inside the music shop, desiring to just be surrounded by something he loved. Mr. Schumacher was a pencil thin man that was always gone, leaving valuable instruments for anyone to waltz right in and take. Even Kendall didn't remember if he's ever seen the man's face, the times that he came inside the shop when he was younger, the shop owner's face was always obscured by a door or an album cover.

It smelled of woodwinds and spices, Kendall dragging his finger over a top hat before he drummed his fingertips over a snare drum. He moved to the piano booths where there was always a piano waiting to be played simply for the enjoyment of the customer. But when Kendall moved to booth #2, he paused at the sound of someone singing along to a quiet little lullaby. He peered inside, not seeing James like he was expecting. And the voice didn't sound like James' either. It was weaker and more frail, very inexperienced and afraid to be heard.

It was Carlos, his back turned and quietly singing to music playing on the radio. Kendall listened closer, hearing Carlos singing a familiar tune and rocking his body to instrumental on the radio.

"_Bright are the stars that shine, dark is the sky. I know this love of mine, will never die. And I love her~_," Carlos sang and Kendall stood in the doorway. Carlos' voice had a richness about it, that Kendall knew in all due time would sound pure and smooth just like James'.

"I didn't know you could sing," Kendall said and Carlos jumped with a scream ripping louder than his singing did. He turned, holding his chest as Kendall raised his hands. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't sneak up on you. I should already know that-"

"I-It's alright," Carlos stuttered, turning off the radio. Kendall stepped inside and closed the door behind him, Carlos looking up at the blond with worried eyes.

"I didn't know you sang," Kendall said again and Carlos looked down at his fingers. Kendall could see a purple and black bruise on Carlos' wrist, and Carlos tugged his long sleeved shirt down a little bit more when he figured Kendall could see it too.

"Not much you know about me," Carlos mumbled and looked up at him. "My mom likes to sing, she sings whenever she cooks or cleans and I guess I just started to sing from her. I never got lessons though, I would have liked some."

"Why didn't you get any then?"

". . .Well Tad said that I'm a nobody and I'll always be a nobody, so what's the point of even trying to learn how to sing. Plus, he said my throat was useful for only one thing and it wasn't singing."

"He's an asshole."

"He's my boyfriend," Carlos said simply and Kendall crossed his arms, wanting to say something but not sure exactly what that something was. "What are you doing in this booth? Do you want me to leave-"

"I just heard you singing and thought you sounded nice. I mean, you could always learn how to sing and you'll be just as good as. . .as. . ."

"As that boy you like?" Carlos asked and Kendall blushed, James coming into his mind like a vision of beauty, Armani, and complete weirdness. "He always walks by the parlor, singing some French song. He sounds absolutely beautiful and sometimes I wish that my voice sounded like his, I'm sure that he's been everywhere singing in theaters with that voice."

"No, he hasn't. He wants to though."

"He's probably charmed thousands of people with that voice."

"I don't think he has."

"He's charmed you, that's what really matters."

Kendall went silent at that one, feeling a blush creep to his cheeks as he gave an awkward cough. "I-He hasn't. If you haven't noticed, I haven't had anyone since me and Jo broke up. And I doubt I will be having anyone either. At least, in this town."

Carlos knocked his knees together. "Do you want someone, Kendall?"

Kendall shrugged. "It's not important if I do have someone. It would be nice, but it's not a priority. Right now, I just want to be able to have some money in my pocket and decide just what the hell I'm going to do with my life. . .are you going to school, Carlos?" Kendall asked and Carlos shook his head 'no'. "Why not?"

"I. . .I wouldn't know where to go. Or what to do. Or where will I get the money to help myself." Carlos knocked his knees again. "I'll wait a year. Then I'll go to school," the Latino boy decided and Kendall moved to sit down on the bench beside Carlos. Carlos shuddered, scooting over onto the edge of the bench and Kendall swallowed.

"I. . .about that night-"

"Which night? The night with Jo or the night you watched me get raped and got off on it?"

Kendall felt even more disgusting how Carlos said it, but he was disgusting for watching it. Kendall pointed a finger and gave a weak gesture.

"The second one."

"What about it?"

". . .I should have done something-"

"It's okay. No one does anything anyways, even when they all know about it. I stopped looking for help a long time ago. Besides, this is how Tad shows he loves me. He doesn't have a way with words."

"So it's better for him to use his fists?" Kendall asked and Carlos rubbed his arm, no doubt bruises there that Kendall couldn't see. Kendall raised a hand and gently touched Carlos' arm, Carlos shuddering as Kendall gently dragged his fingers down the limb and stopped to curl fingers around Carlos' hand gently. "I wish. . .I wish I hadn't done what I've done at that party."

"I do too," Carlos said quietly and looked up at Kendall. Kendall's eyes matched his, flickering down to Carlos' chapped lips for a split second. "Kendall?"

"Hmm?"

"Why did you do it?" Carlos asked and Kendall rubbed his face.

"I already had this conversation with Jo. I don't know, I never will know why. I'm sorry, Carlos-" Carlos raised a finger and placed it to Kendall's lips. The blond looked at the boy with wide eyes, Carlos giving him a soft gaze and Kendall paused. He then kissed Carlos' finger before he pulled away and stood to his feet. "I should leave-"

"Stay?" Carlos asked quietly and grabbed Kendall's hand. Kendall looked down at the boy, those pleading eyes sad and sorrowful like that night. The warm haze of alcohol felt like it was buzzing in Kendall's head, only wanting to take Carlos like that night. To take Carlos into his arms and kiss him, pulling away every last pain with his lips and his touches and thrusts into Carlos' wet heat. Kendall sat down back on the bench and Carlos moved into Kendall's arms like he belonged there. He closed his eyes, resting his head on Kendall's chest. "Could you sing to me? I remember when I was little and I heard you singing in the church choir. I really love it when you sing, Kendall."

"Sing what?" Kendall asked, tracing a figure 8 between Carlos' shoulder blades.

"Anything," Carlos said quietly, clinging to the fabric of Kendall's sleeve. "Just don't leave me now, not like last night."

* * *

_Kendall was blindly stumbling around the house for something that someone needed, except he couldn't really remember who was that someone or what was that something that they needed. His fifth or eighth or twelve glass of punch was sloshing around in his hand, spiked with some alcohol that was making Kendall's head dizzy. He laughed at a joke no one else around heard before he walked up the stairs. Once he got to the hallway, he got to his knees and crawled down to one of the doors, taking a sip of his drink and finished it down in one gulp. _

_Kendall moved to the bedroom, opening the door and fell inside with a loud laugh that was stifled when he noticed a boy curled up in the corner. His knees were tucked close to his chest, eyes wide with fear as Kendall cocked his head to the side._

_"What are you doin up here?" Kendall slurred and jutted his thumb behind him. "Party downstairs. You should __**really **__try the punch."_

_"I. . .I don't want to go to the party," he whispered and Kendall chuckled._

_"Why not? You shy?" he asked and crawled over to him. He slowly began to recall his memory of the boy, Carlos Garcia, was it? Kendall approached closer and closer until he noticed that the boy held something in his hands. A small razor blade, ever so close to his wrists. Kendall sobered up at once, looking at the blade with wide eyes before he looked into Carlos' face. "Wait. . .what?"_

_"I-I can explain-"_

_"Dude, no. __**No**__. What do you think you're doing-"_

_"You don't understand!" Carlos cried, dropping the blade and fell into Kendall's body. "I-I just want to d-die. Everything hurts too much-"_

_"W-Wait, hold on. What hurts? What don't I understand? Just talk to me-"_

_"You don't know, you don't care. __**No one **__cares. I just can't get away, I want to get away so bad but I just __**can't**__." Carlos pulled back, looking up into Kendall's eyes. They were so beautiful, big and brown and watery. Carlos smelled like apple cider and cinnamon, like he was a personal brand of hard apple cider that Kendall just __**needed **__to taste. With that, Kendall leaned down and kissed Carlos firmly onto his lips._

_Kendall heard Carlos whimper against his mouth, soft and warm and so needing of a touch. Kendall pulled the boy tighter into his grasp, his hands gripping Carlos' shoulders as he slipped his tongue past Carlos' lips. Carlos turned his head and Kendall followed, putting all of his weight onto the smaller boy til Kendall was hovering above him, his knees pinning down Carlos' hips as they both kissed and sucked. Their lips were growing a shiny red, Kendall panting harder over Carlos' mouth as he ran his fingers up Carlos' sides. _

_"Everything's going to be okay. I'm going to make you feel better, okay?" Kendall didn't wait for a response, he leaned down with the haze of alcohol buzzing in his brain and making his mind fog. Everything was going to be okay, everything was going to be just fine._

* * *

Kendall woke up, eyes wide in surprise and confusion as he tried to swallow down his breath. He looked around, finding that he was still inside the piano booth. Except now, he was on the floor curled up in a corner. Resting his head on his chest was Carlos, contently in sleep and clinging to the fabric of Kendall's shirt. Kendall rubbed his eyes, surprised that Mr. Schumacher didn't walk in on them. He looked down at Carlos, his cheeks growing warm at the boy lightly snuggled up next to him.

"Carlos," Kendall whispered and the boy stirred. His leg gently wrapped around Kendall's and the blond felt himself growing hotter and finding it harder to breathe. Carlos' eyes fluttered open, looking up at Kendall tiredly.

"What time is it?" he murmured and Kendall tilted his head from side to side.

"Maybe six. . .eight o clock?"

Carlos' eyes widened, hurriedly trying to get off of Kendall and onto his feet. He was hyperventilating, eyes wide and scared as Kendall got to his feet as well. "Oh no, oh no no _no_. I need to get home, I need to see Tad. Tad's going to be so angry, oh no what have I done? What was I _thinking? _Oh no, oh no. I'm so stupid," Carlos rattled, trying to rush out the booth but Kendall grabbed his shoulders.

"Carlos, calm down! He's not going to lay a finger on you, I'll walk you home-"

"No you _can't_. Please, just let me go. You can't help me anymore than you already have, and even then you _still _didn't help. This is all my fault, I shouldn't have asked you to stay. I'm so _stupid_-"

"Stop saying that, you're not-"

"Kendall, _please _let me go!" Carlos cried, trying to twist and turn out of Kendall's grasp. And for the second time with Carlos, Kendall did something stupid. The blond released his grip on Carlos' wrist and moved his hands to hold Carlos' face, pulling him in for warm kiss that the blond didn't know where it came from. Carlos immediately froze under his touch, Kendall's mind going numb with confusion and the ecstasy that was a lingering watermelon smoothie with strawberry and banana on Carlos' sweet and soft mouth. Kendall pulled away, his thumb running over Carlos' cheekbone as they both stared at each other, not saying a word at all.

". . .I. . .I shouldn't have done that-" Carlos shoved Kendall _hard_, knocking the blond back and into the piano. He landed on the keyboard, emitting a few sour and loud chords when he collided with it as Carlos covered his hand with his mouth.

". . .Just stay away from me, Kendall. It's best for the both of us," Carlos said quietly, turning on his heel and quickly ran out of the store. Kendall slowly rose to his feet, rubbing his backside as he exited the booth and looked in search for Mr. Schumacher. No sign of the thin man, like usual, and Kendall sighed before he ran out of the store himself. It looked like it was maybe half an hour after eight, no sign of Carlos on the dark street. Kendall felt his heart grow empty, confusion still in a mist in his mind and pain crept up his spine. He hated this place, he absolutely hated it. Jo hated him, so did Carlos. And frankly, he couldn't blame them.

Kendall's mind is nothing but a complete mess of indecision and wanting something that he'll never really know what it is. Kendall didn't know if he wanted love, cause then he would have still been with Jo. . .or _would be _with Carlos. He didn't know if he wanted companionship, or comforting from someone that wasn't his mother or little brothers or his father that only lies in the cemetery to listen when Kendall could handle going to the grave. He was lost, absolutely lost. And as he wandered down the streets to his home ever so slowly, breathing low and keeping his eyes to the cloudy sky, Kendall didn't understand what other path his life had for him. Summer's End was becoming Kendall's End, the more he daunted on the thought of spending his summer at the beach, the more depressed he began to feel.

Jo was going to New York with her new boyfriend, Carlos (though he was clearly trapped with Tad until a miracle happened) was going to go to school eventually and become smarter and educated than Kendall ever would be. And Kendall, the eldest brother of three little boys that sang like little birds, the son of a woman who penned stories and a raving lunatic that ran screaming in the streets til he finally flung himself in front of a truck to end it all. . .was going absolutely nowhere.

He paused in his place, wishing that he suddenly feel like the weight of the world wasn't crushing him.

And slightly wished that James singing in French would ease his mind like the brunet's voice always somehow seemed to do.


	5. An Ode to Cindy

_Whelp, here's the end of part I. And I met the guys at Del Mar for the tour and it was absolutely spectacular :) Anyways, thanks to ghosthorses, WonderlandGirl457, carlosr. pena, zchary, WritingForFunIsWhatIDo, llamadelrey, The Weasley Way, IluvHutchDano, bluestring, KenlosForever, Fae, Mr. President 64, doisdjoizj, Chey21, BelieversNeverDie18 and LoveSparkle for the alerts, favs and reviews. Hope you all enjoy!_

**Characters**: Kendall, James, Carlos, Tad, the Knights

**Warnings**: Abuse, scary situations

* * *

"_I'm honestly worried about our financial future, Kendall Donald Knight."_

_Kendall Donald Knight, who was five years and three months old, looked up at the boy with a face he doesn't remember. In fact, the face was gone, a clean blank slate for Kendall to look at and wonder who it was. He looked down at the daisy he was twiddling between his fingers._

_"What do you mean?"_

_"Marriage, of course. It's expensive, and we won't have any money for food or a house or clothes. And I __**do **__like clothes, Kendall Donald Knight."_

_"I have a piggy bank with about 126 nickels."_

_"That'll do." And just like that, the financial future of Kendall Donald Knight and the boy with no face was set. He plopped down next to the blond and took Kendall's little hand in his own. "Tell me you love me."_

_"You know I do."_

_"How __**much **__do you love me?"_

_"Name something for me to do for you and I'll do it. What do you want?"_

_"If I asked you to get me the moon, would you get it?"_

_"I'll grab a jump rope and lasso it down like in those old cowboy movies," Kendall said, whistling through the gap in his baby teeth. The boy hummed._

_"What about money?"_

_"I'll find a rainbow and take you over it so you can have all the gold at the end."_

_". . .A kiss?" the boy asked quietly and Kendall rubbed his nose. He leaned forward and gently pecked his lips on the smooth and round cheek. The boy hummed, gently turning his cheek away as he gave a sigh. "I didn't want a kiss on the __**cheek**__."_

_"Where then?" Kendall asked, confused and eyes bewildered as the boy tapped a spot on his blank face right above his chin. _

_"On my lips."_

**Beep! Beep! Beep!**

Kendall's eyes jolted open, jumping in his bed as he slammed his hand on his alarm clock. He didn't know why he had an alarm clock even set, since he didn't need to be anywhere anymore. He rubbed his eyes, swinging his legs out of his bed and slipped on his slippers. He could smell breakfast cooking downstairs, his stomach growling as he hurried out of his room to get food. Colin, Rudy and Lionel were all in the hallway, watching the record spin round and round as they listened to a copy of _The Young Person's Guide to Culturally Rich Orchestra_. Their father thought it would be rather nice for them to understand how each instrument played their part in the piece, illustrating the conductor's control over the instrumental sections as if they were describing a beautiful painting.

They looked up at him, then back at the record player with full attention. Kendall wouldn't have thought much of it, if it weren't that each of them had a sort of sly smile on their lips. It puzzled Kendall for a while as he walked down the steps and moved down the hall towards the kitchen. Once he stepped inside, he saw the reason why his little brothers were smiling so cockily.

Kendall however, wasn't smiling in the slightest.

James was seated at the table, drinking orange juice with a half-eaten plate of sausage, toast, eggs sunny side up and waffles. It wasn't that James was seated at their table in his house without even being invited for breakfast, it was that James was sitting in the chair that used to be for Mr. Knight. And Kendall found himself growing positively _furious_. James glanced over at him, Kendall's mother idly washing the dishes with her back turned, and the brunet smiled.

"Morning darling," James cooed and Kendall's cheeks flushed hot before he stomped over to the brunet.

"What the hell are you doing?"

"Having breakfast, of course. Sit down, she made your plate too," James said and pointed to the plate that was next to him.

"Get out of that seat."

"Why should I?"

"It's my father's seat."

"He's not here, so why can't I sit down in it?" James asked and Kendall balled his hands into tight fists.

"Cause you just can't! Get out of the chair!"

"Kendall!" The blond boy looked up at his mother, the red-haired woman looking over her shoulder at her son with stern eyes. Kendall bit his lower lip, looking back down at James with frustration and anger moving through his arms and flaring up his heart.

"Get out of the chair," Kendall said low and quiet, even threatening to a degree. James stared at him before he grabbed his plate and glass of juice and got out of the seat. James didn't move to another seat, instead he walked out of the kitchen and Kendall heard the front door open and slam shut a few seconds later. Kendall's mother turned off the sink, storming over to her son with furious eyes and hands on her hips.

"What do you think you're doing treating your friend like that?!"

"What do _you _think you were doing by letting him sit in _Dad's _chair?!" Kendall hissed right back and Mrs. Knight ran a hand through her hair.

"I was just trying to be friendly, Kendall. He came over wanting to talk to you, I told him that you were still asleep and invited him to have breakfast. We don't have that many dinner tables and I wanted to keep your chair clear cause I knew you wouldn't want to take your father's if I gave him yours. . .Kendall, we can't leave that seat vacant forever," she said quietly and Kendall wrapped arms around himself. He groaned, turning on his heel and quickly rushed out the front door in an attempt to catch James from getting too far.

Instead, he found James was sitting on the porch, continuing to eat the breakfast Kendall so rudely interrupted. James looked up at him, before he turned attention back to the street and Kendall rolled his eyes.

". . .I'm sorry."

"I'm sorry too," James said between a couple of bites of sausage and Kendall raised an eyebrow.

"For sitting in the chair?"

"No, because you were acting like a stupid twat _because _I was sitting in a chair."

Kendall frowned and gestured to the door. "Look, I don't like people sitting in that chair. That's my dad's chair and. . .it's just important to me and I don't want it touched."

"Why don't you move it somewhere else then if you don't want it being touched?" James asked and Kendall sat down next to him.

"I don't know. . .I just. . .I like the chair left where it is without being touched by anyone. It just makes me feel like everything is back to normal before he passed away," Kendall murmured and James stopped eating.

"Your father is dead?" he asked and Kendall looked over at him. There was surprise in those hazel eyes, a genuine shock and confusion and most of all, understanding. It wasn't sympathy, it was true care and an empathetic softness that made Kendall's heart grow gentle. "Why didn't you tell me this?"

"I. . .it wasn't important-"

"It's important enough if you get so angry about it. I'm sorry, for real this time."

"No, no. I should have just told you instead of getting angry, it wasn't helping anything," Kendall said, running fingers through his hair. James handed Kendall a piece of his toast, to which Kendall took and began to eat.

"You're such a simple little boy, Kendall," James chided and Kendall scoffed in between chews. "Tell me something."

"Like what?"

"Will you take me to California?"

Kendall immediately began to choke on his piece of toast, taking the glass of orange juice to quickly wash it down as James pouted. "I hope you're getting me another one."

"Are you _insane_?"

"This again? I told you I'm not," James said sternly and Kendall's eyes widened.

"Then why did you ask me to take you to _California?_ That's on the other side of the _country_. How am I supposed to even take you there?"

"Driving of course," James said, like it was the simplest thing in the world. He ran his fingertip around the rim of the glass. "You're getting me another orange juice, right?"

"Drive you? Me drive possibly 3,000 miles across the country to California for _you?_ Why would I do that?"

"Well because. . .I figured that maybe you could have this last travel trip before you have to become an adult. You said you never been outside of this little town, now's your chance to get out there and see the real world for the first time. New cities, new sights, new glasses of orange juice that don't have your backwash in it-"

"I can't drive you-"

"Why not? Your mom said it was okay when I asked her," James said and Kendall paused. His mother said it was alright? Why? Why would she say it was okay to leave off with a boy she barely knows and Kendall barely knows _himself_, across the country to California? Kendall blinked, James making a disgusted face as he swished around the remaining contents in the glass of orange juice before he pushed it next to Kendall.

"Why is she letting me come along with you?" Kendall asked and James shrugged.

"I think because she felt guilty you were cooped up in this town. She said she's worried about you, not wanting a repeat of the past, whatever that means," James said. It took a moment for Kendall to try and figure out what _that _meant too, and when his mind finally clicked the two pieces together, he felt another rush of anger over him. His mother didn't want him to get suicidal either, she didn't want him to snap like his father and beg for a truck to run him down or bigger. Kendal balled his hands into fists before he bit the inside of his cheek, he wouldn't _ever _do something like that. Yet, if that was the only reason that she would get off his back about traveling for this one time, he should take the chance.

A summer spent on a road trip with a beautiful stranger, not how Kendall imagined he'd spend his summer vacation, but he couldn't think of a better way _to _spend it. Kendall looked over at the Impala and hummed.

"I can't take my car, my mom would need it to get around town with my little brothers."

"Don't worry, I have a car we can use," James said rather fast and Kendall raised an eyebrow.

". . .Why can't you drive-"

"We're leaving tonight, so you should probably get your things packed now," James said, beginning to rise up but Kendall immediately yanked the boy back down to the porch, eyes wide and stern.

"What do you mean we're leaving tonight? Why so soon? _Why _are we going anywhere in the first place?"

"I have a time schedule I need to keep, that's why tonight and so soon. And we're going because I want to go and I want to take something I like with me."

"Some_thing?_"

"Someone," James corrected and raised a finger to drag over Kendall's plush lower lip. "I like you, Kendall. So I figured I would have you drive me to California. That way, I can continue to grace you with my company for the rest of the summer, you get to leave this town for the first time, and I have a personal chauffer."

"What about money for food? Or places to stay?"

"I have everything covered, silly boy," James said with a little smile, poking the tip of Kendall's nose. Kendall pulled back, still looking at James with suspicious and concerned eyes. James sighed. "You won't come?"

". . .I just don't understand what goes on in that head of yours." James hummed, scooting close to Kendall and rested his chin on Kendall's bare shoulder.

"Nothing you have to worry about. Just get with the program and pack your things. Be ready by nine, I'll be back around here with the car and my stuff," James murmured. He let his fingertips gently graze Kendall's jawline, lightly pushing up against Kendall's lower lip. "I _do_ like you, Kendall," James said quietly and kissed Kendall's cheekbone nice and soft. Kendall closed his eyes, memorizing the feel of James' lips over his skin and how warm his lips were. James pulled away, rising to his feet once more. "Remember, nine o clock on the dot. Be ready."

* * *

"You promise to send us things, won't you?" Colin asked, Kendall trying not to grow distracted as he packed his clothes. His little brothers were standing in the doorway of his bedroom, the record player singing tunes of the Mamas and the Papas that were going rather ignored. Kendall figured he had about three suitcases packed, not sure how many things he needed or how long they were going to be out on the road. Or if they might pick up clothes on the way and he didn't even need to pack so many things.

Should he even go with James? It wasn't like he knew the boy well enough to be stuck in a car for who knows how long.

Kendall tuned in to Colin and Rudy talking about the beach twangs of the Beach Boys and other music sounds that was California sun and beach and life. Lionel was inside his room, picking up books that Kendall figured he could read while in the car. After all, he wasn't a person for small talk. And Kendall wouldn't even know what kind of small talk could even occur between him and James anyways. One was a book about traveling, something to document all of his travels and where they were heading. He already packed his camera, so he was going to fill that book up with as many memories he could.

The other books were simple novels Kendall's possibly read thousands of times before, but he loved them all so much he could read them a thousand times more. Music books, books about the heroes and mysteries Kendall solved before. And then, there was the book with Sampson and his southern beauty Delilah, the book where Kendall couldn't bear to turn the next page. Kendall hummed, looking over at his three brothers with contentment.

"I'll send you something for each state we drive through. Something for you to go get the mail for, okay?" Kendall said and Colin eagerly nodded his head. "Go and let me finish packing up, okay? He's going to be here in a couple of hours," Kendall said and his brothers scurried off, chirping loudly about California dreams that they hope Kendall would send a piece of. He smiled at them, shaking his head before he placed his guitar in its hardshell case. He was _definitely _bringing that, figuring he could decorate the case with stickers from different states. Plus, they could always earn some extra money by playing for some tips. No doubt James had the voice for money to be tossed at him.

There was a knock at the door and Kendall turned, seeing his mother standing in the doorway this time. Kendall paused, before he continued to pack, not paying attention to the woman slowly walking inside the bedroom quietly and watching him closely.

". . .You think you have enough bags, sweetie?" she asked kindly, placing her hand atop one of Kendall's suitcases. Kendall looked at it, before he focused attention back on his guitar.

"Don't know how long we're going to be out on the road. Just want to be prepared," Kendall replied and his mother hummed. She sat down on the bed and pulled Kendall close to her, pulling her son's head down to rest on her shoulder and she rested her cheek atop Kendall's head.

"You'll be safe, won't you?" she asked and Kendall slowly pulled away from her, looking up at her with frustrated eyes.

"If you don't want me to go, then I won't go."

"But I know you want this, Kendall. Otherwise-"

"I'll kill myself?" Kendall asked and she pursed her lips tight. She looked down at her hands, twiddling her fingers before she moved to take Kendall's hands lightly in her own.

"Your father. . . he wasn't happy where he was. No matter how much he tried to show it, he just wasn't satisfied with where he was. I don't know what it was that made him so upset, me or this town. . .you boys. . .I just don't want you to get so upset and frustrated with how life is turning out for you and you just-"

"Look, we don't know why he did it, but I'm not going to do anything like that. . .do you want me to stay?"

She sighed. "Well you can't stay, what about that boy? He's depending on you to take him, isn't he?"

"He has a car, why doesn't he drive himself if he _really _wants to go?" Kendall asked and his mother shook her head, little smile on her lips.

"I would have thought you would notice someone who has such tremendous feelings for you like he does," she said simply and Kendall blinked. "He _could _drive himself. . .but I think he wants to share your company for a little bit longer. . .Kendall, I never see you go with friends anymore. You're always alone and that isn't how you should live your life. Spending time alone at Summer's End watching people move on without you. And then this boy comes into your life and maybe. . .maybe he could give you what you need right now. A friend."

Kendall looked down at the ground, biting the inside of his cheek. "Once you get to California, you can stay with your uncle for the summer. Remember him?"

"Gustavo?" Kendall asked with a rather disgusted tone and his mother frowned.

"He's family-"

"That I _hate_," Kendall hissed and she pinched the bridge of his nose. "Look, I'll play for tips to find my way back home, or maybe even find someplace cheap to live at until I _do _find enough money to go back home. But I'm not staying with Gustavo."

". . .Fine," she muttered, standing onto her feet and smoothed out the creases in her dress. "I'll be downstairs preparing dinner, make sure you have everything packed by the time I call you down."

"Actually I need to go into town and pick up a couple of things. Just leave a plate out for me," Kendall said, rubbing his legs as he slowly got to his feet. She crossed her arms, watching as he toed on his shoes and grabbed a beanie. "I won't be out long."

"Kendall?"

He paused, waiting for a response. ". . .I just want you to be happy. And I want you to have your life sorted out once all this is over."

Kendall only stared at her before he grabbed his jacket. "Sure."

* * *

It was unusually cold that night, colder than any other night. Kendall wasn't even sure where he was going the more he thought of it, just wanting to be out of the house and given some sort of silence to think in. He looked up into the sky, the moon full but the stars hidden by the clouds. Was it the same sky in California? What would he even find there?

Kendall wanted to travel, but then where would he go once it's all done. He didn't want to come back, but he was too scared to stay out there alone. After all, he didn't know James' intentions. For all he knew, once they get to California, they would part ways. James probably had a future ahead of him, plans working inside that gorgeous head of his. James probably wasn't as lost as Kendall is now. He rubbed his face, heading towards the dirt paths and fields to just sit, trying to think everything through.

As he walked along the train tracks and on the dirt road to a field that was vast and with no buildings around, he began to hear shouting and drunk laughs. Kendall squinted his eyes, trying to see just what it was up ahead. There was a car parked off to the side of the tracks, figures on the tracks laughing and moving around shouting loudly. When he drew in closer, he saw it was Tad and his gang of friends with beer bottles in their hands.

And Carlos was amongst them, his arms wrapped around himself, begging to go unnoticed in their drunk haze.

Kendall felt his heart stop when he saw the boy, the taste of strawberry punch appearing on his tongue as he watched the curve of Carlos' face in the moonlight. Carlos' eyes drifted over to him, as if he knew he was being watched, and his eyes met Kendall's. They were gentle, timid and scared, and there was a pleading look in the brown orbs. Begging for someone to take him away, for some sort of escape that Kendall wanted to grant, but didn't know how.

Carlos only stopped looking at Kendall when Tad suddenly grabbed Carlos and hurled him down to the tracks, a scream from Carlos' throat shaking Kendall out of his trance.

"Hey!" Kendall shouted, running over and Tad's friends looked up. They looked confused, the alcohol having the worst effect on them, while Tad threw his knees over Carlos' head, grabbing the boy roughly by the hair.

"Come on~ suck it like the slut you are!" Tad yelled, Carlos squirming underneath his hold with eyes wet. Kendall shoved Tad off of Carlos immediately, trying to help the boy up but was shoved back by the angry blond. "Who the hell are you?!" Tad hissed and Kendall shoved back, his fists raised.

"Look, just back off of him, alright?!"

"Who the fuck you are telling me how to treat something that's _mine_?"

"He's not an object!"

"He's my fucking boyfriend and I'll do whatever I want to do with him," Tad spat and turned to Carlos, pointing a finger at Kendall. "You know this guy?"

Carlos shook his head 'no', afraid and scared as Tad growled. "You're lying!" Tad yelled, grabbing Carlos roughly and shoved him down to the ground. Carlos' side banged against the rails, a breath escaping his mouth and his eyes blanked out wide. Kendall quickly tried to help the fallen boy, but Tad swiped a fist at him, drunk and furious. "Come on! Fight like a man!" he yelled, shoving Kendall roughly onto the tracks. Before Kendall could even try to raise a fist or turn to block any incoming blows, something loud sounded through the night.

The sound of a train's blaring horn.

Kendall looked up, seeing a bright light coming in their direction fast. He then turned to Tad, his friends managing to pull their leader off the tracks in their drunken stupor, stumbling fast over to the car and climbed inside. Kendall stumbled to his feet as well, determined to just get the hell away and back home, before he stopped at the sound of a shout. It was hard to hear, under the car's engine revving and the wheels peeling out of the dirt and making its hasty retreat, but it was still there. Carlos crying for help.

Carlos screaming that he was stuck.

Kendall turned, finding that Carlos was still on the tracks, his foot wedged tight in between the sleepers. He was squirming, in pain from falling onto the rails and trapped. His eyes were pleading, _begging _for Kendall, and the blond knew if there ever was a time that Carlos needed him, it was _now_. Kendall rushed over to the boy, he could hear the train blowing louder and the light getting bigger and brighter as he grabbed Carlos' ankle. He twisted and tried to move Carlos' foot, Carlos begging and crying and shouting 'Hurry! Hurry!' over and over again. Kendall's heart was racing, his palms growing sweaty and feeling like he couldn't breathe at all.

He looked into Carlos' eyes, full of fear, before he wrapped arms around Carlos' frame and lifted. He yanked Carlos upwards, feeling the boy's foot slip out of his shoe and both fell back. Kendall crawled away, dragging Carlos with him as far away as the train roared by. Carlos was clawing into his chest, heaving hard and Kendall could feel the dampness forming on his chest as he tried to gain his own breath. Carlos was mumbling something into his chest, Kendall holding the boy tight to him as he tried to calm him down.

"It's okay, it's okay-"

"Never again. Never again," Carlos repeated and Kendall looked down at him. Carlos looked up into Kendall's eyes. "Please. . .just help me. I-I don't care if you don't love me, just _help_."

Kendall stared into Carlos' eyes, strawberry on his tongue as he leaned down and gave Carlos a gentle kiss to his lips. Nothing deep, nothing hot, and surely wasn't right. But it made Carlos stop trembling, made Carlos' fingers uncurl from digging so deep into Kendall's shirt. He pulled away, lips barely an inch from Carlos' mouth. "Okay. . .okay."

* * *

James was singing a little tune, leaning up against a baby blue and white Volkswagen bus. The moonlight hit his face just right, almost looking like a ghost or a figure that shouldn't exist, yet here he was. He didn't notice Kendall's presence, nor Carlos', not until they drew nearer. James turned his head, a smile on his face that quickly vanished when he saw Carlos holding onto Kendall tight like he never could let go. Kendall's arms were wrapped around him, looking down at the smaller boy with sorry eyes before he glanced back at James. The brunet pointed at Carlos, an eyebrow crooked upwards.

"Who's this?"

"He's. . .he's going to be our co-chauffer," Kendall said and Carlos looked up at him with wide eyes. James pouted, looking inside the bus before he glanced at Carlos from head to toe.

"There's not enough room."

"It's a _bus_, of course there's enough room!"

"No, there's my things and your things and things that we may pick up along the way. There's no room for him so let's hurry up and leave," James said, turning on his heel. Carlos slowly began to pull away from Kendall, wrapping arms around himself.

"It's alright, Kendall. . .I-I'll find a way out. I promise. . .maybe things will get even better-"

"Stop lying to yourself. Things are _never _going to get better with Tad. Carlos, you almost _died _out there cause he abandoned you. He beats you up, he _rapes _you. . .look, what I did at that party. . .that wasn't right and I'm sorry. But I _want _to help you, Carlos."

Carlos looked over his shoulder into the car. "What about him?" he asked and Kendall looked inside as well. James was singing again, though his eyes were glancing over to look at Kendall every once in a while, expecting for the blond to hurry up and get to driving. Kendall turned back to look at Carlos, giving the boy a gentle nudge towards the bus.

"It'll be alright. Come on-"

"But I won't have any clothes. And I can't just up and leave, what about my family?"

"You know how eager they want you to get out of Tad's arms."

"And eager for me to get into yours," Carlos said pointedly and Kendall blushed. Carlos rubbed the back of his neck. ". . .Are you sure I wouldn't be a burden?"

"Of course not," Kendall said softly and Carlos looked back at James. For the first time, Kendall saw the same thing he always seen when he looked in the mirror, uncertainty and fear about the future. Not sure whether to stay or to go or what to do with your life. Wanting to make it better, just not knowing how. Carlos sighed, opening the door and climbed into the backseat of the bus, amongst all of the suitcases and Kendall's luggage. Kendall closed his eyes and took in his last breath of New Palmswood air, breathing in Summer's End and the sea breeze before he climbed into the driver's seat. James had stopped singing, eyeing Carlos in the rear view mirror as the boy tried to get comfortable.

Kendall looked at James' hard face, before he reached out and took the brunet's hand gently in his own. James immediately looked down at Kendall's hand grasping his, a small blush creeping over his cheeks at the gentle and caring touch. "You and I are still going California, it doesn't matter who decides to join us, right?"

". . .Just know that you're mine."

"Of course, James," Kendall said, not giving the statement much thought. Kendall glanced around, eyebrows raising in wonder. "I would have expected you to drive something more. . .rich and fancy. Where'd you get this bus?"

"Oh, just from someone. Nothing you need to worry about, I didn't steal it or anything," James said, teasing his tongue out and Kendall smiled. He glanced down at the little radio set, before his eyes caught something interesting. Wedged down under a stack of CDs and an iPod was a small photograph. Kendall reached for it, pulling on it to reveal a beaten and weathered down photo of a smiling woman. It looked like she had a young boy she was holding onto nice and tight, but before Kendall could see his face, James pushed Kendall's hand away and snatched the photo up.

Kendall watched as James quickly folded the photo and tucked it away in his pocket, his face hot red.

"Drive," James ordered and Kendall paused.

". . .Who was-"

"_I said drive!_" James shouted, his eyes wide and threatening. Kendall stared, eyes flickering over to Carlos quickly to see the boy was just as worried and confused. James grew more annoyed at Kendall's eyes moving to Carlos, growling before he turned and faced the window with his arms crossed. "Wake me when we're in New York."

And like that, James was done with the conversation. Though Kendall doubted the boy was really sleeping.

Kendall looked in the rear-view mirror at Carlos. "You should probably get some rest too, especially after everything's that happened tonight."

Carlos nodded and Kendall gave a warm smile. "I'm going to take care of you, okay?"

". . .I know you will," Carlos said quietly, slowly snuggling into one of the suitcases. Kendall smiled gently, turning the key that was left in the ignition on and switched on the headlights. He looked to his left, seeing that his mother had came out and was standing in the doorway. Kendall's brothers were behind her, holding onto her legs as they watched Kendall and the vehicle closely. Kendall rolled down the window, leaning out as best as he could.

"I'll call you at our first stop, okay?! I still have my cell phone, and I'll write to you all too!" Kendall shouted and the woman placed her fingertips to her lips, mumbling something in her hand. "What was that?!"

"Be careful!" she shouted and Kendall nodded his head. "I love you, sweetie. . .I love you so much."

". . .I love you too, Mom," Kendall said gently and blew her a kiss. She caught it and held it close to her heart, sad smile on her lips that she tried to not show. Kendall gave one last sigh, rolling up the window and putting the car in drive.

He looked forward at the road that stretched out to places he's never been, and hoped would take him where he needed to be.

* * *

**End of Part I**


End file.
